The Return of Old Friends

As I described in my blog entry last month titled “The Return of Good Year Alex” (August 25, 2013), we have been delighted to see recent improvements in Alex’s behavior, health, and speech. In fact, I told a friend the other day that in many ways Alex is probably the best he’s ever been--praise God. After a year in which his senses were dulled by medication to keep his anxiety under control, he has become alert, enabling him to enjoy life. As part of this awakening, he has returned to familiar pastimes that make him happy. Perhaps because he couldn’t concentrate, he had basically abandoned reading and watching television, which had been favorite activities of his for many years. However, he once again has books stacked around his bed so that he can read before bedtime and as soon as he wakes up in the morning. He has also started watching television shows that were favorites when he was younger, and as he did when he was small, he refers to the people on the shows as if they were good friends of his. Not only do we welcome back our contented son, but we are also happy to have his old friends from television entertaining him.

One of Alex’s favorite shows when he was little was Thomas and Friends, the cartoon series about Thomas the Tank Engine. Apparently, this is a favorite of many children who have autism. Perhaps they like this show because they can easily distinguish the different trains through their distinctive colors and voices, or maybe they appreciate that the narrator tells the emotions that the trains are feeling so that the children don’t have to figure out what the faces are conveying. To be honest, I never paid much attention to the show until Alex started watching it again a few weeks ago, after many years of not watching it. While it may seem odd for a 21-year-old to enjoy this cartoon, I have discovered by watching it lately with Alex that it is a really good show with catchy music and good lessons for life, such as being patient and kind and hard working. My only complaint is that I have the theme song stuck in my head and hum it incessantly throughout the day.

Like many children with autism, Alex has been a fan of Wheel of Fortune from an early age. Between the spinning wheel and giant letter board, he was mesmerized by the game. When he was a little older, he also found Jeopardy equally engaging, and their all-time champion Ken Jennings became one of his personal heroes. Since game shows have been special favorites of his, he could spend hours watching the Game Show Network when he was in his teens. However, he lost interest in game shows over time, and he no longer seemed to want anything to do with his old friends Pat Sajak, Vanna White, or Alex Trebek. Lately, though, he has rediscovered the fun of playing along with these old favorite games on television, and we’re pleased to see his mental sharpness return as he solves the puzzles and blurts out the clues.

Although an unusual choice for a child’s favorite television show, Alex found the PBS political news show The McLaughlin Group, a weekly roundtable discussion of current events, completely engaging. Identifying himself as a political conservative, Alex aligned himself with fellow conservative Pat Buchanan and jeered political liberal Eleanor Clift, whom he deemed “annoying.” After not watching this show for several years, Alex has rediscovered how much he enjoys the debate between Pat and Eleanor, grinning as they present their points passionately. Each week, he eagerly anticipates Saturday evening so that he can watch the lively conversation among the five participants, which often makes him laugh as they interrupt each other, trying to make themselves be heard.

Probably the most surprising recent return has been Alex’s old pal Pinocchio. When he was about four years old, Alex watched the Disney video of Pinocchio hundreds of times, often several times in a row. He drove us particularly crazy rewinding the videotape repeatedly when the scene of the whale swallowing Pinocchio’s father came on; apparently the bubbles that rose to the surface of the water fascinated him. Not surprisingly, Alex eventually became tired of this video and seemed to outgrow watching (and re-watching) all of his Disney videos. The other day, he suddenly asked to watch Pinocchio, which meant that I needed to head to the basement, where they’re stored, and try to remember if we even still have a working VHS player. Fortunately, I was able to find his beloved old video and a video tape player that works, and he happily watched the entire movie, never once stopping to rewind the tape. Since neither of us had seen Pinocchio for more than fifteen years, watching it seemed like something we were doing for the first time. After what we’ve been through the past several months, I realized that in some ways Alex is Pinocchio. He has come from the wooden puppet that made foolish choices to “a real boy” with a second chance to enjoy life. As his Jiminy Cricket, trying to guide him on the right path as the voice of his conscience, I couldn’t be more pleased to see the new, improved Alex spending time with “old friends” on television who not only make him happy but also influence him in a positive way.

“I remember the days of old. I ponder all Your great works and think about what You have done.” Psalm 143:5

Bliss

I've mentioned in previous blog posts about how Alex finds joy in simple things. This week, he discovered some new things that made him especially happy. The first is a You Tube video Ed found called "Guy Walks Across America," which pretty much describes what the video entails. A guy starts at the Brooklyn Bridge in New York and walks in extremely fast forward motion across the United States until he reaches San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge in California. We're not sure if Alex likes the video visuals that feature Chicago's "Bean" in Millennium Park and the Presidential profiles at Mount Rushmore in South Dakota, among others, or if he really enjoys the background song, "Home." Nonetheless, he continually flashes a huge smile as he watches it while bouncing around on the couch, except when he sees me watching him and acts embarrassed to be so enthusiastic. Then he calmly watches the video, waits for me to leave, and then starts swaying to the music again (as I furtively watch him from another room). Here's the video that has captured Alex's attention, even after watching it dozens of times.



The other night, I was able to get a similar response from Alex which surprised and pleased me. Listening to the '70s cable channel on Music Choice, I heard the old Climax Blues Band song, "Couldn't Get It Right," which I couldn't get out of my head. When Alex heard me singing [or more correctly, attempting to sing] the song, he smiled and swayed, as he had with the "Guy Walks Across America" video he'd been watching repeatedly. As I tried to imitate the deep voice of the lead singer, this tickled Alex even more, who seemed to enjoy my very amateur version of this song, whose video is posted here.



While many teenagers continually whine about being bored, Alex rarely complains and is easily entertained, so long as he has his computer and/or some music to listen to. Despite the challenges autism imposes on his life, Alex finds bliss in the world around him, making his life and ours truly blessed.

"The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving." Psalm 28:7

Self-Image

Like the mythical character Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection, Alex enjoys looking at his reflected image—in mirrors, photographs, and videos. Unlike Narcissus, however, Alex doesn’t really care about his appearance. I’m convinced that his interest in seeing his image lies in his search for himself. Several months ago, he found a hand mirror and amused himself by looking at the reflection of his face from different angles and with various facial expressions. Unfortunately, he accidentally dropped that mirror on the bathroom tile floor, where it shattered into little pieces. While I’m not superstitious about the seven years of bad luck associated with a broken mirror, I was concerned that the next time a mirror dropped, he could get cut by the broken shards. Therefore, I went in search of a baby mirror that he could carry around safely to satisfy his need to look at himself, and I found one made by Sassy that was not only safe but also reflected a more distinct image than most toy mirrors do. Alex was delighted with this purchase, carrying it around the house and even sleeping with his new mirror.

Besides looking at his reflection in mirrors, Alex also enjoys watching himself in old videotapes and looking at pictures of himself. Perhaps because we have told him that he is the one depicted in photos and videos, Alex always recognizes himself at any age and seems to find the younger version of himself amusing, laughing and smiling all the while he sees himself in the photos and videotapes. Other people are a bit problematic for him, however, since he doesn’t always recognize people’s faces. For example, he has trouble distinguishing my sister from me in photos, despite some obvious differences in our appearance. Also, whenever he sees an older man wearing glasses and a plaid shirt, he’ll often ask us, “Is that Grandpa?” He tends to make generalizations about others’ appearance and not see the small details. This past summer when we were out in public, Alex would watch small children, and if he saw little boys who resembled him when he was little, he would ask, “Is that Alex?” Through various explanations, we were able to convince him that he was the only one like him, and he seemed to grasp that other boys were not Alex. Also, by watching the videotapes of his childhood and noticing the dates displayed on the bottom of the screen, he was able to reconcile the idea of his maturation over time. He was the same boy, just older and bigger now.

Like many children with autism, Alex has had a great deal of trouble with the pronouns you and I or me. I’ve never been certain as to whether this difficulty is a language issue or a perception issue about who he is and his point of view. For example, if I asked him if he wanted juice, he would reply, “You want juice.” Even more confusing would be situations where he would approach us and say something like, “You made a mistake.” Then our conversation would be reminiscent of Abbott and Costello’s comedy routine “Who’s on First?” that Raymond Babbitt repeated throughout the movie Rain Man. We’d ask Alex for clarification by saying, “Who? Alex or Mommy or Daddy?” The majority of the time “you” meant Alex, but we had to be sure. This led him to another stage we called the “Bob Dole Syndrome” after the U.S. senator who frequently referred to himself in third person as “Bob Dole” when he was running for President. To make certain he was understood, for instance, Alex would tell us, “Alex wants cookies.” While this method was more efficient for making himself clear, his speech sounded rather stilted by using his name instead of “I” or “me.” Interestingly, he could easily use “I” in situations where he felt strong emotions, such as, “I hate popcorn!” or “I like shrimp!” Perhaps when he expresses his feelings, Alex comes closest to knowing who he is, and his language reflects this clarity. As he does with most things in life, Alex needs time to observe, listen, and study so that he can understand the world and his place in it. By figuring out who he is through his reflected images and his language, Alex gains confidence in himself, allowing him to interact more easily with others and to overcome the social skill issues autism presents.

“Praise the Lord, I tell myself, and never forget the good things He does for me.” Psalm 103:2