"Knockin' on Heaven's Door"

An old saying goes, “A steady knock wears the rock.” Over the years, I’ve discovered that raising a child with autism often needs that steady knock, requiring immense patience, attention to detail, and confidence that eventually the task will be rewarded as the old makes way for the new. For some time, dealing with certain behaviors of Alex’s has been consistent knocking, yet feeling as though we’re not making much progress. Lately, however, we’ve had that satisfaction of where we make sudden headway and truly see the end results in sight. These moments give us encouragement to keep plugging away and make us thankful that our efforts are worthwhile as we are moving forward.

In December, we increased Alex’s behavioral therapy sessions from once a week to twice a week with the hopes that the additional sessions would help improve his social skills. In working with his behavioral therapist, who is wonderful with Alex, we decided to dub these additional sessions “Fun Fridays,” where she, Alex, and I would go places and do things he enjoys. Our outings would be the equivalent of recreational therapy, which is designed to use skills in the community that have been learned in therapy, such as social skills and coping skills. In essence, these sessions require him to apply in the real world what he has learned in therapy. Before we leave for these outings, his therapist gives Alex a briefing, preparing him for things he may encounter and reviewing social and coping skills. She has made small cards with visual cues for me to carry in my purse in case Alex needs them that say things such as, “I can use my calming skills” and “Take deep breaths” and “Count to ten.” She also reminds him of common courtesies to use while we are out, such as saying, “Please,” “Thank you,” and “Excuse me.”

Overall, these Fun Fridays have gone remarkably well, and all three of us have enjoyed our outings to the library, the bookstore, and restaurants, as well as going shopping. As the weather gets warmer, we are looking forward to going to various parks to enjoy the outdoors. Several weeks ago, Alex decided that he really wanted to go to a local restaurant that is a retro-style diner, and his therapist and I decided that we would use that as a reward he could earn with good behavior over a month’s time. Actually, we had some concerns about how he might react to being in a restaurant that is typically quite crowded at lunchtime, and she wanted him to be able to order his own food, which required repeated practice over several sessions. However, he held up his end of the bargain and fulfilled his obligation to behave himself for the month, earning his trip to the diner for lunch. The day we took him for his reward lunch, the diner was completely full except for one table near the back. Although I had some trepidation about how he would cope with all the people and noise as well as having to wait, he handled the situation beautifully, even ordering his own food to his specifications: two Polish sausage without the bun and with grilled onions, cole slaw, and a medium Sprite. His therapist and I were pleased with how well the lunch went, and Alex really seemed proud of the reward he had earned.

Even with the progress Alex has made, thanks to therapy, medication for his anxiety, and healing that has clearly taken place, we still work on social skills that prove more difficult for him than most people. Like a small child, we constantly remind him to use social graces, such as thanking others for doing things for him. Despite modeling these behaviors for him and verbally cuing him many times daily, Alex, like many people with autism, doesn’t naturally think to use these polite phrases on his own. Last week, his therapist suggested that we try visual cues instead. Even though Alex will comply when we prompt him verbally, he hasn’t reached the point where he will say what he should on his own, and asking a twenty-two year old, “What do you say?” is becoming tedious. At first she suggested sign language, but Alex has always been resistant to learning signs in the past. However, I thought he might respond to numbers, and we tried holding up one finger for “Please” and two for “Thank you.” Immediately, Alex caught on to the system, which has worked like a charm. When I shared this new routine with Ed, he tried it with Alex, who correctly responded with the appropriate phrase for each visual cue. When Ed held up three fingers and teasingly asked Alex what that meant, without hesitation, Alex came up with his own clever idea, saying, “You’re welcome.” This simple and effective solution after years of trying to get Alex to use his manners has been the reward for us of that steady knock. While we wish we had thought of this idea years ago, we’re just thankful that he’s taken to the number system quickly and consistently and are hoping we can eventually phase out the visual cues so that he does what he should automatically.

As a reward for his good behavior and for faithfully responding to our one/two cues, we took Alex out to dinner last night at the diner he likes so much. Sitting in his favorite booth, where an album of Bob Dylan hangs on the wall (hence why we have dubbed this “the Bob Dylan booth”), Alex used his manners nicely and enjoyed his Polish sausage and cole slaw. He also liked listening to the oldies music playing in the background, correctly identifying the songs’ artists, including the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, thanks to Ed, who has taught him about classic rock as they have listened to music they both like together. At one point, Alex began swaying to the opening chords of a song he recognized, and he and Ed both smiled, knowing it was Bob Dylan, whom they love and I don’t. Suddenly Alex began to sing—perhaps applying the skills he has learned in music therapy—the words of the song, even more clearly and more in tune than old Bob himself: “Knock, knock, knockin’ on heaven’s door.” He continued to sing, unabashed and undeterred if he forgot a word, just singing every note and every word joyfully. To most parents, this would be no big deal, but for us, this showed us how far Alex has come. As Alex sang the entire song, I’m sure Ed felt pride as Alex sang the song of his musical hero, and I was moved to tears that our son who has struggled with speech and has lacked confidence in his ability to communicate could sing to his heart’s content. As I looked up on the wall, even Bob seemed to smile in bemusement; we just keep knock, knock, knockin’ and getting closer to heaven every day.

“And I say unto you, ask, and it shall be give you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.” Luke 11:9

Reaching Through Autism with Music

Today’s New York Times Magazine offers a compelling article written by the father of an adult son with autism entitled “Reaching My Autistic Son Through Disney.” [To read this article, please click here.] In this essay, author Ron Suskind describes how his family has dealt with autism over the years and how Disney characters and movies have helped his son with autism learn to communicate with others. Describing his son’s fascination with the Disney animated movies, the author explains that when his son was younger, he began quoting lines from the movies he’d watched over and over. While the experts described this behavior from his essentially nonverbal son as echolalia, or simply repeating what has been heard without any intended meaning, Suskind and his wife realized that these repeated lines had context and meaning to their son. By using lines from the movies their son had watched with such interest and joy, they were able to communicate with their son and begin to understand what he was thinking and feeling. As Suskind notes, “There’s a reason—a good-enough reason—that each autistic person has embraced a particular interest. Find that reason, and you will find them, hiding in there, and maybe get a glimpse of their underlying capacities.”

In reading this essay, I was taken back to when Alex was younger and loved watching Disney videos, too—like Suskind’s son, who is about Alex’s age, rewinding the videotapes to watch beloved scenes over and over again. Both of our sons, like many children in the 1990’s, grew up on Beauty and the Beast, The Lion King, and the classic Pinocchio, but our boys watched these movies with an intense fascination that other typical children did not. While Suskind’s son focused upon the dialogue that he repeated, for Alex the “good-enough reason” was the music that brought him joy. Besides the classic Disney movies, Alex was also a fan of the Disney Sing Along videos, where he could not only watch his favorite animated characters but also watch as the lyrics to the familiar tunes from the movies bounced across our television screen. For Alex, the written words had more power than the spoken words, and the beautiful melodies offered an added bonus to him.

Over the years, music continues to delight Alex, who has rather eclectic tastes in music, probably because his father and I have such different tastes in music. From Ed, Alex has learned to appreciate music without words, as they have listened to classical music and jazz together. Frankly, when they listen to Bob Dylan, the effect is essentially the same because no one can really understand the words he sings anyway. From me, Alex has learned the music of my generation, 1970’s and 80’s pop music, as we listened to everything from the faux singing family the Partridge Family to the real brothers Gibb, the Bee Gees. In addition, he learned the traditional childhood songs, such as “This Old Man,” which he has asked my mom to sing for him countless times over the years. As he has grown older, he has chosen as his favorite the genre Ed and I both like—country music, with its gentle melodies and storytelling lyrics.

Every Thursday afternoon, Alex looks forward to his music therapy sessions with his music therapist Noel, a young man who appreciates Alex’s enthusiasm for music. During these sessions in our home, I listen from the next room, enjoying the songs they sing and play together and the rapport they have established. Every week, Alex chooses to listen to the pre-programmed song on our electronic keyboard “Auld Lang Syne,” in homage to his love of New Year’s Eve and the tradition of the New York Times Square ball drop countdown celebrating the start of a new year. Most of the sessions, however, focus upon country music, and I enjoy listening to Noel play the guitar while the two of them sing. Actually, Alex has to be coaxed to sing loudly enough to be heard, but I can picture him in my mind swaying to the rhythm and smiling as he sings, because I know how he loves those songs. I also know that as they sing Garth Brooks’ “Friends in Low Places,” Alex is finding the lyrics funny and probably wishing that they could sing the extra verse Garth only does in the live version where he tells off the “little lady” in no uncertain terms. As they sing Johnny Cash’s classic “Folsom Prison Blues,” I wonder what Alex is thinking about the harsh lyrics: “I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die,” but suspect he is more engaged with how Noel’s voice goes into the lower range as he sings those words. My favorite song they sing together is another Johnny Cash song, “I Walk the Line,” probably because I think of how those lyrics describe my feelings for Alex: “As sure as night is dark and day is light, I keep you in my mind both day and night, and happiness I’ve known proves that it’s right. Because you’re mine, I walk the line.”

This week, Alex was especially excited about my mom’s birthday on Thursday and kept telling me that he wanted "to go to Nanny’s house." Because she had a cold, we weren’t able to go on Thursday. When I finally asked him why he wanted to go so badly, I discovered that he wanted to sing to her and have cake. I told him that we could go this weekend, but he could still sing to her over the phone. Happily and off tune, Alex launched into his rendition of “Happy Birthday” over the phone, much to the delight of my mom. Yesterday, he was able to get his wish, singing to her in person over a birthday cake, leaving out one of the lines, perhaps to get to the cake a little sooner. For Alex, the tradition of singing and cake makes birthdays special and creates joy that he can share with others.

Similarly, I was able to share a new song with Alex this week that we both enjoyed, a song my seventh grade students had told me about from the new Disney animated movie Frozen. After we had watched the excerpt from the movie in a You Tube video one day last week at the end of class, I found myself humming the song all day. Alex asked me what song I was humming, and because I sing off key, I pulled up the video for him so that he could enjoy the song the way I had. [To watch the video, please click here.] As we watched the animated version of “Let It Go” with sing-along lyrics, I was taken back to when Alex was little and we watched the Disney Sing Along videos. He smiled and swayed to the beautiful melody as I focused more closely on the lyrics, the words I found touching and true, “It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small, and the fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all.” Of course, we had to watch the video again, and Alex enjoyed it even more the second time because it was now familiar, a tune he would recognize if he heard it again, which would make him smile. Just as Ron Suskind’s son found Disney movies enabled him to connect to the world and bring him contentment, Alex finds joy in music that allows him to celebrate special days and to find simple pleasure in every day. In the words of Bob Dylan (that I understand only because I’ve heard Rod Stewart sing them): “May your heart always be joyful and may your song always be sung. May you stay forever young.”

“He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what He has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:3

Alex's Four S's

As kids around the country head back to school this month to learn the traditional “3 R’s—reading, ‘ritin’, and ‘rithmetic,” Alex has instead been focusing upon 4 S’s. In past blog entries, I have described how he goes through phases where certain topics and activities hold great interest—even to the point of obsession—for him. Sometimes these interests are ones he rediscovers after taking a break from them for several months, even years, which brings us to our first S: Seuss. Lately, Alex has been asking me “to visit” him, which means he likes for me to hang out in his room. Since conversation isn’t one of his strengths, he has decided that the best way for us to visit is for me to read aloud to him, which is reminiscent of when he was little and liked me to read to him. Although Alex taught himself to read by the age of three, which was part of his hyperlexia, or precocious reading skills, he enjoyed having me read to him even though he could read to himself. Part of this nostalgic recent activity has been his choice of reading material—Dr. Seuss. Pulling four of Dr. Seuss’s best books from Alex’s childhood library, he has asked me to read The Foot Book, The Cat in the Hat, Dr. Seuss’s ABC, and my personal favorite, Green Eggs and Ham. While I read the familiar rhymes and funny lines, Alex grins and seems to enjoy revisiting these old stories. I have to admit, I enjoy reading them as much as he likes to hear them, so this is a nice way to spend my “visits” with Alex.

Another current interest for Alex is also a rediscovery: sunrises and sunsets. Since he was little, weather has fascinated Alex, and at one point he told us he wanted to be a meteorologist when he grew up. Also, he has always been interested in time, so the marking of time by sunrises and sunsets naturally interests him. This past week, he has been asking me to check online the times of sunrise and sunset for each day, and he has been looking for patterns as far as how the days grow shorter over time. Yesterday, I reminded him that The Old Farmer’s Almanac, whose new annual editions he receives every year for Christmas because it is one of his favorite reference books, contains a great deal of information about sunrises and sunsets. After I handed him a recent edition of the almanac, he happily began studying when sunrises and sunsets fall on various dates of the year.

Unlike Dr. Seuss and the movement of the sun, which are rediscovered joys for Alex, a new obsession for him is showers. While Alex has always liked taking baths and seems to find them calming, taking showers is a new experience that he looks forward to every day. Because Alex didn’t like getting water in his eyes, we never had him take showers at home, fearing he might get upset if the water sprayed his eyes, and just had him take baths instead. However, when he was in the hospital, his only option for bathing was to take showers. At first, he was quite tentative, as we would have anticipated, putting only a leg and an arm in the shower. With time, he was able to put his entire body in the shower, overcoming his fears and actually enjoying the shower. Now, as soon as he rolls out of bed every morning, he asks us when “shower time” is, even though he knows that we follow a scheduled 7:00 in the evening shower time. Throughout the day, he’ll ask us repeatedly when shower time is or how long it will be until he takes a shower. While it might seem easier to allow him to take his shower earlier in the day, we know that showering seems to be the highlight of his day and prefer that he looks forward to this activity he anticipates so eagerly.

Another new interest for Alex is the red Solo cup, and we can blame country singer Toby Keith for this. [Click here to see Toby Keith singing his popular tune “Red Solo Cup.”] A country music fan, Alex especially likes country songs that are funny, such as Alan Jackson’s “It’s Five O’Clock Somewhere” and Garth Brooks’ “Friends in Low Places,” so Toby Keith’s “Red Solo Cup” fits right into Alex’s taste for clever songs about drinking.  After listening to “Red Solo Cup” dozens of times, Alex decided that he, too, would like to drink out of a red Solo cup. Unfortunately for him, he can’t drink beer, and we don’t have Solo cups of any color. Fortunately for me, I was able to convince him that a red plastic cup we have was a Solo cup and that apple juice would go well in that cup. Whether he was humoring me or really did believe me, he has been enjoying apple juice in his pseudo red Solo cup, which he asks for by name. I suspect that my persuasive powers are not as great, though, as those as the lyrics of the song: “Red Solo cup, you’re more than just plastic. You’re more than amazing; you’re more than fantastic. And believe me, I’m not the least bit sarcastic when I look at you and say, 'Red Solo cup, you’re not just a cup. You’re my friend. Thank you for being my friend.'” If that plastic cup makes him happy, I’m delighted.

Although I’m sure Alex’s somewhat unusual current interests will likely fade, as all phases do, I’m glad that he has found simple things that bring him joy. Until he gets tired of them, I’ll keep reading aloud Dr. Seuss books, looking up sunrise and sunset data for him, reminding him that shower time is 7:00 P.M., and encouraging him to drink his apple juice in the beloved red “Solo” cup.  I just hope that he can always find little things that make him happy—what a blessing that truly is!

“Are any of you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises.” James 5:13

The Dance

Recently, Alex has been spending time engaged in a new activity--dancing. As I've mentioned in previous blog entries, he really likes music: everything from jazz to country, so long as it's not rap music. He's been listening to our cable television's Music Choice channels lately, especially music from the 70's, 80's and 90's. A few nights ago, he heard Chumbawamba's 1997 one-hit-wonder song, "Tubthumping," which has now become one of his favorite songs. Apparently its catchy lyrics ("I get knocked down, but I get up again") and driving beat inspire him to dance. After hearing the song on Music Choice, he found it on You Tube and played it over and over, having his own little dance party in the family room that evening.



Perhaps the inspiration for Alex's sudden interest in dancing can be traced to his watching the movie Saturday Night Fever last weekend. Fortunately, he was watching the edited-for-television version, so instead of imitating the profanities, he could try to imitate disco dancers' moves. Since Alex has always liked the Bee Gees' music from listening to their CD's with me, I wasn't surprised that he enjoyed the dance sequences. What was surprising was that he watched the entire movie and then watched it again when it was repeated another night.



Although we're pleased that Alex seems to enjoy dancing so much, it's too bad that his moves aren't too smooth. Ed has a terrific sense of rhythm that makes him a good dancer, and I won a disco dance contest when I was Alex's age. Poor Alex, however, didn't inherit any natural ability to dance, and so far, he hasn't picked up any of John Travolta's grace on the dance floor from watching the movie. Somehow Alex seems to sense his awkwardness, as he'll immediately stop dancing if Ed or I walk into the room. I think he knows that his dancing is more like Elaine Benes on Seinfeld than John Travolta on the lighted dance floor.



Even though Alex seems to have two left feet, Ed and I enjoy secretly watching him dance because he exudes such joy moving to the music, so long as he doesn't know that anyone is watching him. Perhaps he exemplifies William W. Purkey's quote best: “You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.”

"Let them praise His name with the dance; Let them sing praises to Him with the timbrel and harp." Psalm 149:3

"These Days"

The other day, I was listening to Glen Campbell's Greatest Hits CD, which both Alex and I like. While he and I share a love of country music, our reasons for enjoying this CD are probably different. For me, listening to Glen Campbell is nostalgic because I remember several of his hit songs from when I was a little girl in the late 1960's. I suspect that Alex appreciates Glen Campbell's songs because several have geographic references, such as "Wichita Lineman," "Galveston," and "By the Time I Get to Phoenix," and he probably pictures in his mind these places on a map. My favorite song on the CD, however, is one Glen Campbell more recently recorded, a cover of Jackson Browne's song "These Days." [Click here to watch the video of this song.] Besides the pleasant melody and beautiful arrangement, I find the lyrics appealing in their simplicity. In listening to the song again the other day, I realized that some of the lines apply to Alex, which makes the song even more meaningful to me.


"I've been out walking. I don't do too much talking these days. These days."


"I'll keep on moving. I'm bound to be improving these days. These days."


"And if I seem to be afraid to live the life that I have made and sown, it's just that I've been healing so long."

As we watch the leaves change colors, we also watch for changes in Alex and keep praying that his healing will soon be complete.

"The Lord is my strength and my song; He has given me victory." Psalm 118:14

Nostalgia

From time to time, Alex goes through a phase where he revisits his past. For example, this week, he has been pulling out old books and handheld electronic games and enjoyed spending time reading and playing these former favorite activities, finding them interesting again. While I’m not thrilled that he strews these books and game all over the floor in this rediscovery process, I’m pleased that he’s entertaining himself with what he already has. It’s nice to see him engaged in books and games that he had put away for months, even years. Included in these books he’s been re-reading lately are his old homeschooling textbooks, especially his math books, which isn’t surprising since math has always been his favorite subject. In addition, he’s also been playing several electronic games, including Deal or No Deal and Jeopardy. I’m sure that his reawakened interest in watching the Game Show Network probably has motivated him to pull out his own home versions of these games so that he can play along as he watches them on television.

Unfortunately, these reminders of the past have a negative aspect. Along with the pleasure they bring Alex, he also becomes a pain in obsessing over past incidents. This week, we’ve had to listen to him complain again about previous obsessions: his typewriter, the computer game Monopoly Junior, and people’s voices. Although after his summer of basically self-imposed silence, we like hearing him speak again, we wish he’d talk about something he likes instead of things that bother him. For him, rambling on about when he got his typewriter in 2002, and how he hates Monopoly Junior because it’s a low scoring game, and how he doesn’t want to keep track of people’s voices [in his system where he assigned points for volume and pitch of voices] appears to be his attempt to banish demons through his own form of talk therapy. Listening to his repetitive diatribe is tiresome, especially when he becomes really agitated and needs us to write down his grievances and repeat back what he’s said in some sort of reassurance. Needless to say, we’ll be delighted when he gets past this form of revisiting of his younger years.

With all these reminders of his past, Alex has started a new activity that is actually nostalgic for me. Our cable company offers several channels devoted to various types of music through a program called Music Choice. I often have Music Choice playing on the television as background music when I’m grading papers, doing laundry, or working on the computer. Recently, Alex seemed to find my listening to Music Choice interesting because he would come running to the television when he’d hear songs that he liked and/or were familiar. While I like to listen to a variety of music, flipping between the True Country, Today’s Country, Solid Gold Oldies, ‘70s, '80s, Pop Hits, and Soft Rock channels, Alex tended to drop what he was doing when he heard country or '80s songs. Music Choice offers Alex an added bonus in that they list the title of the song and album/CD, the artist, and most importantly for him, the date the song was released. Since Alex is a country music fan, I wasn’t surprised he wanted to come listen when he heard Alan Jackson, Garth Brooks, or Shania Twain, all favorites of his. However, his sudden interest in '80s music, the songs of my young adulthood—when I was his age—intrigued me. This past week, he’s opted to listen to Music Choice for hours at a time, and he’s become a devotee of the '80s channel. For me, these songs are nostalgic; for Alex, most songs are new. As the familiar tunes of Fleetwood Mac, Hall and Oates, and Lionel Richie play, I find myself humming along to those songs I played repeatedly when I was younger on albums, then cassettes, and later CD’s. One evening, I heard Alex’s voice while he was listening to Van Halen, and as I approached the room, where I could tell he was dancing around from the thumping sounds on the floor, I could figure out that he was singing the lyrics, “Might as well jump, JUMP!” When he looked up and saw me grinning at him, he quickly sat down, embarrassed that I’d witnessed his mini-concert. Not wanting to spoil his fun, I left so that he could once again enjoy the music, uninhibited. I hope he continues to find joy in the old songs, and perhaps music will soothe him so that the obsessions of his past will dwindle and fade away, allowing him just to dance.

“God keeps such people so busy enjoying life that they take no time to brood over the past.” Ecclesiastes 5:20

Bliss

I've mentioned in previous blog posts about how Alex finds joy in simple things. This week, he discovered some new things that made him especially happy. The first is a You Tube video Ed found called "Guy Walks Across America," which pretty much describes what the video entails. A guy starts at the Brooklyn Bridge in New York and walks in extremely fast forward motion across the United States until he reaches San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge in California. We're not sure if Alex likes the video visuals that feature Chicago's "Bean" in Millennium Park and the Presidential profiles at Mount Rushmore in South Dakota, among others, or if he really enjoys the background song, "Home." Nonetheless, he continually flashes a huge smile as he watches it while bouncing around on the couch, except when he sees me watching him and acts embarrassed to be so enthusiastic. Then he calmly watches the video, waits for me to leave, and then starts swaying to the music again (as I furtively watch him from another room). Here's the video that has captured Alex's attention, even after watching it dozens of times.



The other night, I was able to get a similar response from Alex which surprised and pleased me. Listening to the '70s cable channel on Music Choice, I heard the old Climax Blues Band song, "Couldn't Get It Right," which I couldn't get out of my head. When Alex heard me singing [or more correctly, attempting to sing] the song, he smiled and swayed, as he had with the "Guy Walks Across America" video he'd been watching repeatedly. As I tried to imitate the deep voice of the lead singer, this tickled Alex even more, who seemed to enjoy my very amateur version of this song, whose video is posted here.



While many teenagers continually whine about being bored, Alex rarely complains and is easily entertained, so long as he has his computer and/or some music to listen to. Despite the challenges autism imposes on his life, Alex finds bliss in the world around him, making his life and ours truly blessed.

"The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving." Psalm 28:7

Carols

Around Thanksgiving, Alex apparently was not in an attitude of gratitude, for he was rather disgruntled, muttering and complaining. Since he’s usually good natured and pleasant, we tried to figure out what might have irritated him. Ed and I assessed what Alex had eaten, whether he was picking up on our pre-holiday stress, and even how weather changes affected him since he seems to be a human barometer sensing when low and high pressure systems develop. Of course, we tend to forget that he is a teenager, after all, and some of his behavior may simply be typical teen moodiness. Nonetheless, we figuratively walked on eggs for a few days, watching and waiting for muttering to magnify into meltdowns. Once again, we were thankful for the soothing effects of the sedative Ativan. Fortunately, we had not had to give him Ativan for quite a while, so we had forgotten how effective it truly is for Alex when his anxiety rages out of control. In addition, we looked for other ways to soothe him and remembered that music usually calms him. As a result, we discovered that Christmas carols make him remarkably happy and serene.

After we came home from a good session at music therapy last week, Alex sat on the couch scowling but wouldn’t tell us why he wasn’t pleased. I offered to teach him how to play “Jingle Bells” on the piano and began picking out the tune and writing the letter notes for him so that he could play the song if he wanted. Since he didn’t follow me into the room where the piano is, I assumed that he was still sitting on the couch in a foul mood. I was wrong. Ed came and told me to keep playing because Alex was acting the happiest he had in a week. Bringing my holiday songbook in for Alex to choose a song for me to play, I discovered that Alex was indeed much happier than I’d left him; he had a huge smile on his face. Returning to the piano, I played several Christmas carols for him and could hear him in the other room clapping and even doing what we call the “happy hop,” a gallop he does whenever he’s delighted. Had I known that he enjoyed listening to my piano playing—despite my limited ability, I would have played for him sooner. Since then, we’ve had Christmas music playing on the CD player or the Music Choice cable channel, and his mood has improved significantly. Instead of being Ebenezer Scrooge, he’s become more of a jolly Santa Claus, laughing and enjoying the Christmas season.

Like many children, Alex’s favorite Christmas song is “Jingle Bells,” with its repetitive lyrics and instantly recognizable melody. This year he has another Christmas carol he especially likes, “The Twelve Days of Christmas.” Since he likes numbers and counting, that song with all its numbered gifts holds appeal. For some reason he also currently has a fascination with the number twelve, always betting twelve chips when he plays video poker and giving “high twelves” instead of “high fives” as greetings. (He does this by giving “high fives” with both hands, and then putting one finger up on each hand and slapping those index fingers against the other person’s hands: five plus five plus one plus one, equaling twelve.) Besides the traditional “Jingle Bells” and “Twelve Days of Christmas,” Alex is quite fond of a contemporary Christmas song sung by gospel quartet Ernie Haase and Signature Sound, “Glory to God in the Highest.” Besides the beautiful four-part harmonies of this song, it has a catchy rhythm that makes Alex want to clap along to the beat as he listens to the CD. As we celebrate the Christmas season, we are thankful for the blessings God has given us and for the joy found in the carols that praise Him. In the words of Alex’s gospel favorite: “Glory to God in the highest, peace on earth and good will to men. Heavenly angels announce His arrival in the little town of Bethlehem. Hallelujah to the Lord, sing holy, He was born to save the world from sin. Glory to God in the highest glory, hallelujah to the Lord. Amen.”

“The Lord is my strength and my shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.” Psalm 28:7

Music Therapy

One of the best things we’ve done for Alex is to enroll him in music therapy. Although I had heard about music therapy several years ago, I was unable to find a local music therapist at that time and put the idea aside for a while. Then Alex went through the uncooperative adolescent stage where he might not have been compliant for the music therapy sessions. Last summer I read a news article online about the benefits of music therapy for children with autism, and I decided to try again to find a music therapist for Alex. A Google search led me to a group here in town that not only provides music therapy but also has experience in working with children who have autism. I felt this was a sign that we should pursue music therapy for Alex at this time. When I spoke with their director of music therapy, I was impressed by her warmth, enthusiasm, and expertise. After answering all of my questions, she suggested assigning Alex to their newest music therapist, a young man who had just completed his internship.

When I first met Noel, Alex’s music therapist, I appreciated his calm demeanor and his interest in learning more about Alex and how autism affects him. Moreover, he provides a good role model for Alex because he acts “with it,” showing Alex how to behave in a way that is appropriate for his age. A typical music therapy session consists of a variety of activities. Noel begins the session by playing guitar and singing the “Hello” song in which Alex must respond to the questions asked in the lyrics. At other times, Noel plays the guitar and has Alex accompany him on a variety of percussion instruments: drums, maracas, tambourine, or castanets. Sometimes, Noel rewards Alex by letting him listen to a jazz CD, knowing how much Alex likes jazz. In addition, Noel has been teaching Alex some basics about music and how to read notes and having him play songs on tone chimes or an electronic keyboard. The session, which lasts forty-five minutes, ends with Noel playing guitar and singing the “Goodbye” song, which, like the opening song, requires that Alex respond at certain points to the words of the song. After Noel finishes the session with Alex, he spends a few minutes going over with me how the session went and comparing notes about Alex’s behavior.

Music therapy is interesting because it is rather holistic, focusing not just on music and the sensory issues that surround it, but also language, social, and motor skills. One of the first things that we noticed when Alex began music therapy is that he was very relaxed and calm after a session, and that mellow mood lasted the rest of the day. Another positive change we noted is that Alex developed a sense of rhythm he’d never had before. Prior to music therapy, Alex would typically clap or sway off tempo, but within a few weeks of music sessions and after learning how to play the percussion instruments correctly, he could clap in time to the music. We have also found that Alex’s language skills are improving because Noel works with him on speaking clearly and using an appropriate volume. Previously, Alex would often speak softly—I suspect because he was self-conscious about his speech weaknesses—but Noel’s gentle insistence that Alex speak up has helped his self-confidence and his ability to be heard. His speech has also become more conversational since beginning music therapy; perhaps music is making connections in his brain that enhance his language skills. As his language skills have improved, his social skills have increased, as well, because he can better interact with others. Through his music sessions, he has practiced how to say hello and goodbye to people, and he has become better at following directions. Moreover, his attention span seems to have improved as he is more focused. Whether music therapy is responsible for all of these changes, or if it’s a combination of the therapy and maturation, we are grateful for the positive impact music therapy has made on Alex’s progress in several areas.

“Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good; celebrate His lovely name with music.” Psalm 135:3