A Thousand Words

Recently my husband Ed has taken up digital photography, and I've been amazed by the photographs he has taken and edited. What makes his pictures even more impressive is that during his photography jaunts, Alex accompanies him. Considering how unpredictable Alex's behavior has been lately, having him as a companion makes Ed very brave in my eyes. Not only must he confine his trips to places within a few minutes of home since Alex could become agitated or bored and need to leave immediately, but he also can't spend a great deal of time selecting his photo angles, again because Alex's patience is limited. Nonetheless, he somehow finds interesting subjects close to our home here in Northwest Indiana, places that I've never seen even though I've lived here nearly my entire life. In addition, he provides Alex with an opportunity to get out, see new things, and get some fresh air. I just hope that Alex appreciates Ed's willingness to take him along on these photography adventures. I'm pleased to share a few of my favorites from Ed's growing photography collection, which can be accessed by clicking here.

Barns are a common sight in Indiana farmland. I especially like Red Barn in Afternoon Light because it reminds me of my grandpa's barn on the farm where my dad grew up. [To view any of these photos in full-screen mode, just click on the picture itself.]




We are fortunate to live in a town that has several nice parks. Gazebo Path was taken in Ogden Gardens, a local park filled with flowers and one of Alex's favorite places.




Valparaiso University's Chapel of the Resurrection is filled with beautiful stained glass windows depicting stories from the Bible, but I especially love the triumphant Christus Rex, Christ with His hands raised in victory. Ed's photograph Winter Sun Through Chapel Windows captures the true beauty of the windows and the crucifix.




Not far from our home is a chain of lakes, remnants from the glaciers of the Ice Age. Ed and Alex have taken to exploring these lakes, and somehow Alex always manages to come home completely dry. I suspect his slight fear of water may be a good thing. This picture is entitled Light Snow at Mink Lake.



Of course, Alex does have his limits, especially when the weather is cold outside. Here is Alex at the end of a photography session, patiently waiting by the car for Ed to take him home again.



"Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture!" I Corinthians 13:9

Family Portrait

Last week, Alex, Ed, and I did something Alex would characterize as “extremely rare”: we had a professional photographer take a family portrait of us. The last time we had a photographer take our family picture was in the fall of 1994, when Alex was a few months shy of turning three years old. Sitting on Ed’s lap, toddler Alex doesn’t look at the camera, but Ed and I are happily smiling, blissfully unaware that our child has autism because he wouldn’t receive that diagnosis for another year. My school’s photographer, who had offered a complimentary picture package for me since I had worked with him for several years in my role as yearbook sponsor, took that picture. While I snapped many photos of Alex when he was little, we only took him twice to have his picture taken professionally when he was about six months old and again when he was about eighteen months old. Having seen many professional photographs of little kids with their eyes red and noses running from crying during photo sessions, we opted to stick with candid photos of Alex instead. Once he was diagnosed with autism, we were uncertain how he would deal with bright lights, unfamiliar settings, and a stranger telling him what to do, which is why our only family portrait is now more than sixteen years old.

A couple of weeks ago, the editor of Valparaiso University’s alumni magazine contacted Ed because he was interested in writing an article about the autism blogs that Ed and I write. In addition, he arranged for a photo session with the three of us to provide a photograph to accompany the article. As the picture day approached, I felt some apprehension, not knowing how Alex would react to the new situation, and I was uncertain about how the photographer would handle a teenager with autism. Fortunately, Alex was calm and in a very good mood the day of the photo session, which eased my concerns a bit. When we arrived to have our picture taken, we discovered that we would have our hair and make-up done before being photographed. Now Ed was the one with trepidation, as he wasn’t thrilled with that idea. Alex, on the other hand, loves to be groomed, and he happily sat still as a pretty and personable young woman fixed his hair and applied a light coat of powder to his face. Similarly, I enjoyed the pampering since I’ve never had makeup professionally applied. Once we were deemed camera-ready, we waited for the photo session to begin.

When the photographer introduced himself, I was impressed that he warmly greeted Alex first. He asked Alex how he was, but Alex misunderstood the question and thought he was asking how old he was, so he told the photographer that he was nineteen. The photographer told Alex that his name was Tom and that he was 53, which delighted Alex, who loves to quantify people by numbers. As Alex laughed, I explained to Tom that Alex likes to know people’s ages, but we won’t let him ask adults how old they are. His volunteering his age instantly endeared him to Alex. Moreover, he offered to show Alex how his computer captures digital images and uses numerical values to indicate light and shadow. Allowing Alex to maneuver his computer mouse, Tom explained that pure white has a value of 255 and asked if Alex had an idea what numerical value pure black has. Without missing a beat, Alex told him, “Zero,” which was the correct answer. Since we were amazed that he immediately came up with the right response, I asked Alex if he had guessed or if he actually knew the number. He told me that he’d read it on the Internet. Once we began the session, Tom continued to engage Alex in the process, talking with him as if he were an old friend. After finding out that Alex is interested in math and pi digits, he had Alex say, "Pi" instead of "Cheese" before snapping the pictures. Ed and I appreciated that Tom treated Alex with a natural kindness that put all of us at ease. Whenever people show patience and understanding with Alex, we feel blessed that God has brought those people into our lives, even if for a brief time because they bring out the best in Alex. Despite our concerns about how this situation would go, we found this family photo session to be pleasant and memorable, thanks to all the people involved whose friendliness and understanding made the experience fun for Alex, and, therefore, enjoyable for Ed and me, as well.

“A glad heart makes a happy face…” Proverbs 15:13

Self-Image

Like the mythical character Narcissus, who fell in love with his own reflection, Alex enjoys looking at his reflected image—in mirrors, photographs, and videos. Unlike Narcissus, however, Alex doesn’t really care about his appearance. I’m convinced that his interest in seeing his image lies in his search for himself. Several months ago, he found a hand mirror and amused himself by looking at the reflection of his face from different angles and with various facial expressions. Unfortunately, he accidentally dropped that mirror on the bathroom tile floor, where it shattered into little pieces. While I’m not superstitious about the seven years of bad luck associated with a broken mirror, I was concerned that the next time a mirror dropped, he could get cut by the broken shards. Therefore, I went in search of a baby mirror that he could carry around safely to satisfy his need to look at himself, and I found one made by Sassy that was not only safe but also reflected a more distinct image than most toy mirrors do. Alex was delighted with this purchase, carrying it around the house and even sleeping with his new mirror.

Besides looking at his reflection in mirrors, Alex also enjoys watching himself in old videotapes and looking at pictures of himself. Perhaps because we have told him that he is the one depicted in photos and videos, Alex always recognizes himself at any age and seems to find the younger version of himself amusing, laughing and smiling all the while he sees himself in the photos and videotapes. Other people are a bit problematic for him, however, since he doesn’t always recognize people’s faces. For example, he has trouble distinguishing my sister from me in photos, despite some obvious differences in our appearance. Also, whenever he sees an older man wearing glasses and a plaid shirt, he’ll often ask us, “Is that Grandpa?” He tends to make generalizations about others’ appearance and not see the small details. This past summer when we were out in public, Alex would watch small children, and if he saw little boys who resembled him when he was little, he would ask, “Is that Alex?” Through various explanations, we were able to convince him that he was the only one like him, and he seemed to grasp that other boys were not Alex. Also, by watching the videotapes of his childhood and noticing the dates displayed on the bottom of the screen, he was able to reconcile the idea of his maturation over time. He was the same boy, just older and bigger now.

Like many children with autism, Alex has had a great deal of trouble with the pronouns you and I or me. I’ve never been certain as to whether this difficulty is a language issue or a perception issue about who he is and his point of view. For example, if I asked him if he wanted juice, he would reply, “You want juice.” Even more confusing would be situations where he would approach us and say something like, “You made a mistake.” Then our conversation would be reminiscent of Abbott and Costello’s comedy routine “Who’s on First?” that Raymond Babbitt repeated throughout the movie Rain Man. We’d ask Alex for clarification by saying, “Who? Alex or Mommy or Daddy?” The majority of the time “you” meant Alex, but we had to be sure. This led him to another stage we called the “Bob Dole Syndrome” after the U.S. senator who frequently referred to himself in third person as “Bob Dole” when he was running for President. To make certain he was understood, for instance, Alex would tell us, “Alex wants cookies.” While this method was more efficient for making himself clear, his speech sounded rather stilted by using his name instead of “I” or “me.” Interestingly, he could easily use “I” in situations where he felt strong emotions, such as, “I hate popcorn!” or “I like shrimp!” Perhaps when he expresses his feelings, Alex comes closest to knowing who he is, and his language reflects this clarity. As he does with most things in life, Alex needs time to observe, listen, and study so that he can understand the world and his place in it. By figuring out who he is through his reflected images and his language, Alex gains confidence in himself, allowing him to interact more easily with others and to overcome the social skill issues autism presents.

“Praise the Lord, I tell myself, and never forget the good things He does for me.” Psalm 103:2