A little over a week ago, I was having routine annual tests
run at the lab where we also take Alex for his blood tests. While one lab
technician was drawing my blood, another saw me from across the room and
happily exclaimed, “It’s Alex’s mom!” Surprised that she recognized me with all
the patients she sees and without Alex in tow, I was pleased that she
remembered Alex and me. She went on to tell me that she missed him because she
hadn’t seen him in a while, which I told her was a good thing because it meant
he has been healthy. However, I explained that he would be coming in soon for
his regular six-month blood tests, and she earnestly said that she hoped she
would get to see him then. After asking if he was enjoying watching baseball on
television this summer, remembering his devotion to the Chicago Cubs, she
enthusiastically remarked, “He’s always so good! He’s my favorite patient!”
While her kind remarks about Alex made my day, filling me with motherly pride and endearing her to me for her sweetness, this wasn’t the first time she’s heartily praised him. Every time she has done his blood tests, she always shows her delight in seeing him, which is probably why he looks forward to having blood draws. Two of the other lab technicians have also proclaimed Alex as their favorite patient and seem to remember him fondly whenever they see him. Of course, we are pleased that Alex cooperates fully with the tests and is pleasant and polite to the lab technicians. However, I think their warmth toward him goes beyond their kindness and his willingness to follow directions.
A few days later, I took Alex to Burger King, where two of the ladies who work there are especially friendly and call him by name. No matter what they are doing, they will rush over to greet him, ask him how he is doing, and make him feel welcome. Although I’m sure they recognize that he has autism, they never treat him condescendingly, and they patiently wait for him to give his order. As they say hello to him, take his hand, and tell him they’ve missed him, Alex smiles broadly, tells them, “Nice to see you,” and leans forward, putting his hands between his knees as his entire body shudders with joy. While they are friendly to all customers, these sweet ladies make Alex feel special, and I suspect he makes them feel just as special.
Sometimes I wonder what Alex’s vocation would be, had autism not affected his life so profoundly. While his cousins are pursuing college and careers and getting married and having children, Alex remains in a child-like existence. Beyond pondering what occupation Alex might have chosen, I wonder what calling he might have felt to serve others, had his language and social skills not been impaired. Perhaps those limitations are less important, however, than the spiritual gifts God provides. In Romans 12:6, the Apostle Paul notes, “In His grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well.” He goes on to list various gifts, such as prophesy, teaching, encouraging and serving others, giving, and leadership. In re-reading this scripture, the last line made me recognize Alex’s gift: “And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.”
Certainly, I believe that good people treat Alex kindly, perhaps because of or even in spite of how autism affects him. However, the more I watch people interact with him––whether it be his therapists who appreciate the smart, funny, and sweet young man he is and feel pleased to have witnessed the progress he’s made over the years, or those whose brief contact with him leaves a lasting positive impression––I see that Alex’s kind heart cannot be hidden by autism. Moreover, he doesn’t feel the need to conceal his joy when others are kind to him; his smile and happy shudder let people know how glad he is to see them, which has to make them feel pleased, too. If there were any doubt as to how much those people mean to Alex, their importance would be confirmed in knowing that he asks God to bless them every night in his bedtime prayers. I have to believe that God hears those earnest prayers from His child whom He graced with a gift for kindness.
Although I don’t know exactly what the future holds for Alex, I do know that God has good plans for him. More importantly, Alex trusts with unwavering faith that God has a plan for his life. Until those plans are revealed, we wait with hope and anticipation, and we are thankful for the people God places in Alex’s life who see the good in him and allow him to share his kindness and joy, giving his life a valuable purpose and meaning.
While her kind remarks about Alex made my day, filling me with motherly pride and endearing her to me for her sweetness, this wasn’t the first time she’s heartily praised him. Every time she has done his blood tests, she always shows her delight in seeing him, which is probably why he looks forward to having blood draws. Two of the other lab technicians have also proclaimed Alex as their favorite patient and seem to remember him fondly whenever they see him. Of course, we are pleased that Alex cooperates fully with the tests and is pleasant and polite to the lab technicians. However, I think their warmth toward him goes beyond their kindness and his willingness to follow directions.
A few days later, I took Alex to Burger King, where two of the ladies who work there are especially friendly and call him by name. No matter what they are doing, they will rush over to greet him, ask him how he is doing, and make him feel welcome. Although I’m sure they recognize that he has autism, they never treat him condescendingly, and they patiently wait for him to give his order. As they say hello to him, take his hand, and tell him they’ve missed him, Alex smiles broadly, tells them, “Nice to see you,” and leans forward, putting his hands between his knees as his entire body shudders with joy. While they are friendly to all customers, these sweet ladies make Alex feel special, and I suspect he makes them feel just as special.
Sometimes I wonder what Alex’s vocation would be, had autism not affected his life so profoundly. While his cousins are pursuing college and careers and getting married and having children, Alex remains in a child-like existence. Beyond pondering what occupation Alex might have chosen, I wonder what calling he might have felt to serve others, had his language and social skills not been impaired. Perhaps those limitations are less important, however, than the spiritual gifts God provides. In Romans 12:6, the Apostle Paul notes, “In His grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well.” He goes on to list various gifts, such as prophesy, teaching, encouraging and serving others, giving, and leadership. In re-reading this scripture, the last line made me recognize Alex’s gift: “And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.”
Certainly, I believe that good people treat Alex kindly, perhaps because of or even in spite of how autism affects him. However, the more I watch people interact with him––whether it be his therapists who appreciate the smart, funny, and sweet young man he is and feel pleased to have witnessed the progress he’s made over the years, or those whose brief contact with him leaves a lasting positive impression––I see that Alex’s kind heart cannot be hidden by autism. Moreover, he doesn’t feel the need to conceal his joy when others are kind to him; his smile and happy shudder let people know how glad he is to see them, which has to make them feel pleased, too. If there were any doubt as to how much those people mean to Alex, their importance would be confirmed in knowing that he asks God to bless them every night in his bedtime prayers. I have to believe that God hears those earnest prayers from His child whom He graced with a gift for kindness.
Although I don’t know exactly what the future holds for Alex, I do know that God has good plans for him. More importantly, Alex trusts with unwavering faith that God has a plan for his life. Until those plans are revealed, we wait with hope and anticipation, and we are thankful for the people God places in Alex’s life who see the good in him and allow him to share his kindness and joy, giving his life a valuable purpose and meaning.
“The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust Him with all my
heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of
thanksgiving.” Psalm 28:7
4 comments:
I think Alex would have done something philanthropic or social work. His sweetness and kindness show always
Pam,
I enjoyed this blog in particular, because it demonstrated to me that your characteristics of gentleness, love, caring, and many other traits have "set the stage" for his current social behaviors. I think he is projecting to others what he receives from you and Ed. With that said and extrapolating that to a vocation, I think he would be a writer or a musician or artist where he would express his inner joy in a new explosive way. People would react with smiles and welcome hearing, seeing, or reading his views of the world. It would be very interesting to note his reaction from a group who would show applause appreciation for something that he created. Wouldn't it?
Thanks, Babs, for your sweet comments, but more importantly, thanks for being such a supportive sister to me and a wonderful aunt to Alex. He couldn't not have asked for a more loving aunt!
Much love,
Pam
Diane, your lovely comments made me teary because they were so sweet! I appreciate all the interest you have taken in Alex and the support you have given me over the years. I'm so grateful that you organized the family reunions all those years ago so that I could meet you, my dad's youngest cousin, and become friends. Those children who worked with you as their speech therapist were truly blessed because you have such a kind and caring heart.
Love,
Pam
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