“Traveling through the dark, I found a deer…” William
Stafford
Last Monday night, as Ed was coming home from taking sunset pictures at the Indiana Dunes, a deer suddenly ran in front of him on the dark highway. True to the saying, “like a deer caught in headlights,” the deer stopped in front of his car instead of continuing to run across the road. Fortunately, Ed was able to slow down enough that he didn’t hit the deer at fifty miles per hour. After doing some damage to the plastic pieces on the front of the car, the deer continued running on its way across the highway and into the woods.
Knowing that his encounter with the deer could have been much worse, Ed felt a brief sense of relief that was short-lived. Another car behind him apparently did not see his car stopped by the deer in time and rammed into the back of Ed’s car. Thankfully, neither Ed nor the other driver was hurt at all, but Ed’s car suffered more damage from the second hit. Using the cell phone I bought for him, despite his dislike of using the phone, keep charged for him, and insist that he carry just for circumstances like this, he called the police to file an accident report.
The police officers, like everyone we have dealt with in the aftermath of this accident, were exceptionally kind and helpful. When Ed came home in his drivable but damaged car and told me he’d been in an accident, my only concern was whether he had been hurt. After watching many medical shows over the years, I knew what questions to ask about potential symptoms of head injuries and whiplash and asked repeatedly if he should go to the emergency room to be checked. After reassuring me that he had come through the accident without a scratch, I thanked God for watching over him and keeping him safe.
The next day while Ed was at work, I handled phone calls from our insurance and the other driver’s insurance, taking careful notes so that I could relay the information to Ed. In addition, I spoke with the company that will provide a rental car while ours is being fixed as well as the body shop that will repair the car. Everyone I talked to was helpful and kind, beginning each conversation by showing concern, asking if Ed had been hurt in the accident. Once I told them that he was fine, they commented that as long as he was all right, nothing else mattered. I totally agreed with their assessment of priorities.
The following evening at dinner, I noticed a mark on Ed’s neck and immediately thought the seat belt from his car had either bruised or scraped him. After accusing him of minimizing an injury, Ed insisted that his neck was fine and went to the bathroom mirror to see where I was pointing. Apparently, my medical skills gained from television shows were lacking, as the “injury” I found was only a bit of chocolate from candy he’d been eating.
Not wanting to worry Alex, we have tried to keep our discussions about the accident minimal in front of him, but his acute hearing and fondness for eavesdropping made secrecy impossible. Not to mention, he overheard the assorted phone calls from the insurance companies in which we had to explain what had happened. As we told him about his dad’s car accident, Alex seemed to take the information seriously but calmly, especially since we reassured him that his dad was fine and that the car will be repaired.
With claims filed for insurance, estimates made of expenses, and parts being ordered to repair the car, now we just wait. After the initial flurry of concerns and details to be tended, Ed and I have viewed this experience in different ways. He’s frustrated that his car is damaged and will be in the shop for a week, but I’m thankful that he walked away from the accident totally uninjured. Moreover, I’ve reflected on how this accident is in some ways a metaphor for our life with autism. Like the deer, autism seemed to appear out of nowhere, impeding our path as we were traveling along through life. After facing autism head on, we have also encountered the second unexpected hit from behind in various ways: struggling to find professionals to help Alex, dealing with extreme anxiety and aggression, and working to heal his gastrointestinal issues. As if autism were not enough with its impact on language, motor, and social skills, the additional financial, mental health, and medical issues prove challenging to families like ours.
Nonetheless, just as the police officers and the employees of the insurance agencies, rental car company, and body shop have helped us in dealing with the aftermath of a car accident, therapists, doctors, researchers, and other parents have guided us in dealing with autism. While these experiences were new to us, others with more experience and expertise could help and guide us as to what we needed to do to move forward. Most importantly, we know that nothing comes as a surprise to God, who watches over us and guides us through every circumstance in life. While we don’t know what Alex’s future holds, we do know that God holds Alex’s future. Holding fast to our faith, we trust that God will guide us along paths we cannot see and help us move past obstacles, just as He always has, fulfilling the good plans He has promised.
Last Monday night, as Ed was coming home from taking sunset pictures at the Indiana Dunes, a deer suddenly ran in front of him on the dark highway. True to the saying, “like a deer caught in headlights,” the deer stopped in front of his car instead of continuing to run across the road. Fortunately, Ed was able to slow down enough that he didn’t hit the deer at fifty miles per hour. After doing some damage to the plastic pieces on the front of the car, the deer continued running on its way across the highway and into the woods.
Knowing that his encounter with the deer could have been much worse, Ed felt a brief sense of relief that was short-lived. Another car behind him apparently did not see his car stopped by the deer in time and rammed into the back of Ed’s car. Thankfully, neither Ed nor the other driver was hurt at all, but Ed’s car suffered more damage from the second hit. Using the cell phone I bought for him, despite his dislike of using the phone, keep charged for him, and insist that he carry just for circumstances like this, he called the police to file an accident report.
The police officers, like everyone we have dealt with in the aftermath of this accident, were exceptionally kind and helpful. When Ed came home in his drivable but damaged car and told me he’d been in an accident, my only concern was whether he had been hurt. After watching many medical shows over the years, I knew what questions to ask about potential symptoms of head injuries and whiplash and asked repeatedly if he should go to the emergency room to be checked. After reassuring me that he had come through the accident without a scratch, I thanked God for watching over him and keeping him safe.
The next day while Ed was at work, I handled phone calls from our insurance and the other driver’s insurance, taking careful notes so that I could relay the information to Ed. In addition, I spoke with the company that will provide a rental car while ours is being fixed as well as the body shop that will repair the car. Everyone I talked to was helpful and kind, beginning each conversation by showing concern, asking if Ed had been hurt in the accident. Once I told them that he was fine, they commented that as long as he was all right, nothing else mattered. I totally agreed with their assessment of priorities.
The following evening at dinner, I noticed a mark on Ed’s neck and immediately thought the seat belt from his car had either bruised or scraped him. After accusing him of minimizing an injury, Ed insisted that his neck was fine and went to the bathroom mirror to see where I was pointing. Apparently, my medical skills gained from television shows were lacking, as the “injury” I found was only a bit of chocolate from candy he’d been eating.
Not wanting to worry Alex, we have tried to keep our discussions about the accident minimal in front of him, but his acute hearing and fondness for eavesdropping made secrecy impossible. Not to mention, he overheard the assorted phone calls from the insurance companies in which we had to explain what had happened. As we told him about his dad’s car accident, Alex seemed to take the information seriously but calmly, especially since we reassured him that his dad was fine and that the car will be repaired.
With claims filed for insurance, estimates made of expenses, and parts being ordered to repair the car, now we just wait. After the initial flurry of concerns and details to be tended, Ed and I have viewed this experience in different ways. He’s frustrated that his car is damaged and will be in the shop for a week, but I’m thankful that he walked away from the accident totally uninjured. Moreover, I’ve reflected on how this accident is in some ways a metaphor for our life with autism. Like the deer, autism seemed to appear out of nowhere, impeding our path as we were traveling along through life. After facing autism head on, we have also encountered the second unexpected hit from behind in various ways: struggling to find professionals to help Alex, dealing with extreme anxiety and aggression, and working to heal his gastrointestinal issues. As if autism were not enough with its impact on language, motor, and social skills, the additional financial, mental health, and medical issues prove challenging to families like ours.
Nonetheless, just as the police officers and the employees of the insurance agencies, rental car company, and body shop have helped us in dealing with the aftermath of a car accident, therapists, doctors, researchers, and other parents have guided us in dealing with autism. While these experiences were new to us, others with more experience and expertise could help and guide us as to what we needed to do to move forward. Most importantly, we know that nothing comes as a surprise to God, who watches over us and guides us through every circumstance in life. While we don’t know what Alex’s future holds, we do know that God holds Alex’s future. Holding fast to our faith, we trust that God will guide us along paths we cannot see and help us move past obstacles, just as He always has, fulfilling the good plans He has promised.
“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
Psalm 119:105
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