The average teacher supposedly makes approximately 1,500
decisions every day. Since the average parent raising a child with autism makes
at least that many decisions daily, my many years spent in teaching provided
excellent practice for being an autism mom. In making those choices, I rely
upon common sense, past experience, research, mother’s instincts, and most of
all, prayer. Although my supportive husband kindly and generously tells me that
I always make the right decisions when it comes to Alex, I know that I make
mistakes at times. However, I always strive to do what’s best for him, and I’m
willing to make changes when the consequences of choices don’t go the way I’d
planned. On the other hand, sometimes when things go awry, we are actually led
to something that works out better than we had imagined.
The other day while changing the sheets on Alex’s bed, I decided to flip the mattress on his bed, something I do once or twice a year. As I turned over his mattress, I was shocked to discover a golf-ball sized hole in the underside, especially since the mattress is less than five years old. Pulling the mattress aside to get a better look, I found that his box springs had a corresponding hole, as well. Further inspection seemed to indicate that a broken spring had punctured the underside of the mattress and the top of the box springs. While I was thankful that spring had not poked through the top of the mattress and done harm to Alex, I had a fleeting fear that perhaps some animal had somehow gotten into his room, chewed his bedding, and made a comfy home there. If there were rodents in Alex’s room, I knew I was going to need backup, so I decided to call Ed upstairs and get his calm and logical assessment of the situation.
After inspecting the holey mattress and box spring, Ed understood my infestation concerns––despite their unlikelihood––and decided to get tools to investigate further. Armed with a flashlight and scissors to gain a better view of the damaged bed, he decided quickly that the culprit was the broken spring and not some crafty critter. At this point, I was wishing that I hadn’t decided to flip the mattress in the first place, but we knew we would need to get a new mattress and box springs for Alex immediately. As we anticipated, he was upset that we had taken his bed apart and worried that he would have no place to sleep that night. Despite reassuring him that we would get him a new bed right away and offering him one of our three couches, our bed, or the bed in our spare room as places to rest while he waited, Alex was not a happy camper.
Remembering that my parents had offered us months ago a practically new extra bed that they wanted to get out of the way, I decided this was the easiest solution. After a phone call to my mom, some measuring of Ed’s crossover SUV, and easing Alex’s concerns by telling him he was getting the bed from Grandpa’s t.v. room, we rapidly set the plan in motion. After Ed made two quick trips to my parents’ house, which is less than ten minutes away, and carried the new mattress and box springs upstairs, I hastily put new sheets on the bed, and Alex immediately and happily curled up in his new bed in the middle of the afternoon, as if to make sure no one bothered his new favorite spot. Moreover, he slept peacefully in his new bed that night, clearly unfazed by the changes that had occurred during the day.
While my impulsive decision to flip Alex’s mattress created some brief unrest, thanks to some quick thinking, my parents’ generosity, Ed’s agile furniture moving, and Alex’s willingness to accept change, we worked together to resolve the problem. Furthermore, all of us can rest easier knowing that Alex is no longer sleeping on a defective mattress.
In addition to the new bed, we made another change that could have impacted Alex’s sleep for better or worse. During our regular six-month appointment with Alex’s psychiatric nurse practitioner last month, she recommended that we start gradually weaning him off one of his anxiety medications. Knowing that Ed would be on spring break this month, I had decided not to make any changes in Alex’s medication until then. Even though Alex has responded quite well to medication reductions, I’m always cautious about the timing of these changes. In case Alex responded to this medication change negatively, I wanted to have Ed at home.
Last weekend, I thought we were ready to start decreasing the medication, but before we made the change, Alex was acting a bit edgy. Seeing this as a sign that he wasn’t ready for any changes, I decided that we could wait until Ed finishes his semester in May. A few days later, I realized why I had mother’s instinct to wait on reducing that medication. On Monday, we received tests results indicating that another one of Alex’s medication levels is too high, so he will have to take a lower dose of it. Remembering the valuable lesson Alex’s childhood doctor taught me about only making one change at a time so that we know the likely causes of any reactions he may show, I knew my decision to delay making changes with the other medication was the right one. Instead, we will allow Alex’s body to adapt to the lower doses of the medication shown to be too high and will wait a few months before adjusting the other one. Fortunately, Alex seems to be adapting quite well to the lower dose of the medication that tested too high.
While the parental responsibility of making decisions for a child, especially one with special needs, can be daunting, we keep doing our best to choose wisely. Using all our available resources, including seeking advice from the wonderful professionals who work with Alex, we hope that we are doing the right thing every time we are faced with a choice. More importantly, we trust that God is leading us every step along the way––in decisions big and small––to make Alex healthy and happy and to keep him safe. Believing that God knows Alex’s every need reassures us that He will guide us as parents and that He will make certain every good plan He has for Alex’s life will be fulfilled.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6
The other day while changing the sheets on Alex’s bed, I decided to flip the mattress on his bed, something I do once or twice a year. As I turned over his mattress, I was shocked to discover a golf-ball sized hole in the underside, especially since the mattress is less than five years old. Pulling the mattress aside to get a better look, I found that his box springs had a corresponding hole, as well. Further inspection seemed to indicate that a broken spring had punctured the underside of the mattress and the top of the box springs. While I was thankful that spring had not poked through the top of the mattress and done harm to Alex, I had a fleeting fear that perhaps some animal had somehow gotten into his room, chewed his bedding, and made a comfy home there. If there were rodents in Alex’s room, I knew I was going to need backup, so I decided to call Ed upstairs and get his calm and logical assessment of the situation.
After inspecting the holey mattress and box spring, Ed understood my infestation concerns––despite their unlikelihood––and decided to get tools to investigate further. Armed with a flashlight and scissors to gain a better view of the damaged bed, he decided quickly that the culprit was the broken spring and not some crafty critter. At this point, I was wishing that I hadn’t decided to flip the mattress in the first place, but we knew we would need to get a new mattress and box springs for Alex immediately. As we anticipated, he was upset that we had taken his bed apart and worried that he would have no place to sleep that night. Despite reassuring him that we would get him a new bed right away and offering him one of our three couches, our bed, or the bed in our spare room as places to rest while he waited, Alex was not a happy camper.
Remembering that my parents had offered us months ago a practically new extra bed that they wanted to get out of the way, I decided this was the easiest solution. After a phone call to my mom, some measuring of Ed’s crossover SUV, and easing Alex’s concerns by telling him he was getting the bed from Grandpa’s t.v. room, we rapidly set the plan in motion. After Ed made two quick trips to my parents’ house, which is less than ten minutes away, and carried the new mattress and box springs upstairs, I hastily put new sheets on the bed, and Alex immediately and happily curled up in his new bed in the middle of the afternoon, as if to make sure no one bothered his new favorite spot. Moreover, he slept peacefully in his new bed that night, clearly unfazed by the changes that had occurred during the day.
While my impulsive decision to flip Alex’s mattress created some brief unrest, thanks to some quick thinking, my parents’ generosity, Ed’s agile furniture moving, and Alex’s willingness to accept change, we worked together to resolve the problem. Furthermore, all of us can rest easier knowing that Alex is no longer sleeping on a defective mattress.
In addition to the new bed, we made another change that could have impacted Alex’s sleep for better or worse. During our regular six-month appointment with Alex’s psychiatric nurse practitioner last month, she recommended that we start gradually weaning him off one of his anxiety medications. Knowing that Ed would be on spring break this month, I had decided not to make any changes in Alex’s medication until then. Even though Alex has responded quite well to medication reductions, I’m always cautious about the timing of these changes. In case Alex responded to this medication change negatively, I wanted to have Ed at home.
Last weekend, I thought we were ready to start decreasing the medication, but before we made the change, Alex was acting a bit edgy. Seeing this as a sign that he wasn’t ready for any changes, I decided that we could wait until Ed finishes his semester in May. A few days later, I realized why I had mother’s instinct to wait on reducing that medication. On Monday, we received tests results indicating that another one of Alex’s medication levels is too high, so he will have to take a lower dose of it. Remembering the valuable lesson Alex’s childhood doctor taught me about only making one change at a time so that we know the likely causes of any reactions he may show, I knew my decision to delay making changes with the other medication was the right one. Instead, we will allow Alex’s body to adapt to the lower doses of the medication shown to be too high and will wait a few months before adjusting the other one. Fortunately, Alex seems to be adapting quite well to the lower dose of the medication that tested too high.
While the parental responsibility of making decisions for a child, especially one with special needs, can be daunting, we keep doing our best to choose wisely. Using all our available resources, including seeking advice from the wonderful professionals who work with Alex, we hope that we are doing the right thing every time we are faced with a choice. More importantly, we trust that God is leading us every step along the way––in decisions big and small––to make Alex healthy and happy and to keep him safe. Believing that God knows Alex’s every need reassures us that He will guide us as parents and that He will make certain every good plan He has for Alex’s life will be fulfilled.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.” Proverbs 3:5-6
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