“Maybe it’s the movies, maybe it’s the books.
Maybe it’s the government and all the other crooks.
Maybe it’s the drugs, maybe it’s the parents.
Maybe it’s the gangs or the colors that we’re wearin'.
Maybe it’s the high schools, maybe it’s the teachers.
Tattoos, pipe bombs underneath the bleachers.
Maybe it’s the music, maybe it’s the crack.
Maybe it’s the Bible, or could it be the lack?
Come on people now.
Smile on your brother.
Everybody get together.
Try to love one another right now.”
“Right Now” by Cheryl Wheeler and Chet Powers
In a recent speech on vaccines and autism at Duke
University, vaccine scientist and patent holder Dr. Peter Hotez made a rather
bold and vindictive statement regarding organizations that question the safety
and effectiveness of vaccines. Describing these groups, he is quoted as saying
that they “camouflage themselves as a political group, but I call them for what
they really are: a hate group. They are a hate group that hates their family
and hates their children.”
Since many parents of children with autism believe that vaccines played a harmful role in our children’s health, he has falsely accused us of hating our children. Clearly, he believes vaccines play no role in autism, as he has written a book about his own daughter who has autism: Vaccines Did Not Cause Rachel’s Autism. Certainly, he is entitled to his opinions regarding the cause of autism in his own child, but casting aspersions on other parents is not necessary.
One of the problems in dealing with the autism crisis is the strong division between the factions who each firmly believe they know the true cause. Moreover, those who believe that vaccines play no role in autism often are dismissive of those who have witnessed first-hand vaccine reactions in their children and patients. Until a definitive cause (or causes) can be established, autism researchers need to work together to find potential triggers of the disorder so that autism can be prevented and cured.
Adding to the confusion surrounding how best to treat autism is the concept of “neurodiversity” in which high functioning people with autism tout the virtues of autism and insist that parents of children with autism should not try to cure them because they are fine the way they are. However, many parents recognize that our children have medical issues, such as seizures, allergies, and gut dysbiosis, that must be addressed. In trying to make our children healthy, parents are again unfairly made into villains who despise our children.
Considering the current climate of hatefulness in the mainstream media and social media, where people feel free to call names and demean anyone who does not share their views, this schism in the autism community is not surprising. The mentality of “Us vs. Them” pervades our society, and it’s easier to assign blame and make nasty remarks than to try and see the other position. Nonetheless, this divisiveness––whatever the controversial issue discussed––does nothing to solve the problems of our society. Until everyone is willing to listen respectfully to others and try to work together, not only will conflicts continue, but also societal issues will remain that could be resolved with cooperative efforts.
Last week, as I eavesdropped on Alex’s behavioral therapy session, his therapist was explaining to him the importance of keeping certain thoughts and comments to himself. With autism, social skills often must be taught, but this lesson seems to have value for everyone. As she explained that some words could be hurtful to people, Alex seemed to grasp the old adage, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Their conversation reminded me of a poster I had hanging in the middle school classroom where I taught for many years that advised, “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? If the answer to any of these questions is no, then keep it to yourself.” If Alex with his autism-impaired social skills and my middle school students could comprehend the concept of using restraint in making unkind remarks, adults should be able to do the same. Certainly, we should try to keep our cruel comments to ourselves to avoid hurting others, especially in this negative social climate.
A few days ago, I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. As I was chatting with the pharmacist, I heard another pharmacist ask me if I was Alex’s mom. When I looked over, I recognized her as the pharmacist who had been especially helpful in December when we were having trouble getting one of Alex’s medications. [I wrote about this incident in my post “All Is Calm; All is Bright” on December 24, 2017.] Because she had sympathetically listened to my concerns and diligently worked to solve the problem by tracking down the medication, I had written her a thank you note expressing my gratitude for her kindness as well as her time and effort to help me.
A little surprised that she recognized me, I told her that I was Alex’s mom and remembered her from our conversation several weeks ago. She explained that she appreciated my note, which she said had “made her cry because it was so sweet.” She went on to tell me that she has saved the note and pulls it out anytime she is having a bad day. Explaining that pharmacists often take verbal abuse from customers, she appreciated my kind words. Of course, I was pleased that my simple note had meant so much to her, but I was also reminded of the power of words and how we can bless or curse others with them.
For those like Dr. Hotez and the neurodiversity movement who mistakenly believe that parents like me “hate” our children, I can assure you that I love my son unconditionally and will move heaven and earth to make sure he reaches his full potential. With the help of God, therapists, doctors, and pharmacists who care about Alex’s well-being, Ed and I will continue working to restore Alex’s health so that he can enjoy life to the fullest. Moreover, we will strive to teach him by example the importance of kindness so others can see the pure heart and sweet spirit God has given him.
“Kind words are like honey––sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” Proverbs 16:24
Since many parents of children with autism believe that vaccines played a harmful role in our children’s health, he has falsely accused us of hating our children. Clearly, he believes vaccines play no role in autism, as he has written a book about his own daughter who has autism: Vaccines Did Not Cause Rachel’s Autism. Certainly, he is entitled to his opinions regarding the cause of autism in his own child, but casting aspersions on other parents is not necessary.
One of the problems in dealing with the autism crisis is the strong division between the factions who each firmly believe they know the true cause. Moreover, those who believe that vaccines play no role in autism often are dismissive of those who have witnessed first-hand vaccine reactions in their children and patients. Until a definitive cause (or causes) can be established, autism researchers need to work together to find potential triggers of the disorder so that autism can be prevented and cured.
Adding to the confusion surrounding how best to treat autism is the concept of “neurodiversity” in which high functioning people with autism tout the virtues of autism and insist that parents of children with autism should not try to cure them because they are fine the way they are. However, many parents recognize that our children have medical issues, such as seizures, allergies, and gut dysbiosis, that must be addressed. In trying to make our children healthy, parents are again unfairly made into villains who despise our children.
Considering the current climate of hatefulness in the mainstream media and social media, where people feel free to call names and demean anyone who does not share their views, this schism in the autism community is not surprising. The mentality of “Us vs. Them” pervades our society, and it’s easier to assign blame and make nasty remarks than to try and see the other position. Nonetheless, this divisiveness––whatever the controversial issue discussed––does nothing to solve the problems of our society. Until everyone is willing to listen respectfully to others and try to work together, not only will conflicts continue, but also societal issues will remain that could be resolved with cooperative efforts.
Last week, as I eavesdropped on Alex’s behavioral therapy session, his therapist was explaining to him the importance of keeping certain thoughts and comments to himself. With autism, social skills often must be taught, but this lesson seems to have value for everyone. As she explained that some words could be hurtful to people, Alex seemed to grasp the old adage, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Their conversation reminded me of a poster I had hanging in the middle school classroom where I taught for many years that advised, “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? If the answer to any of these questions is no, then keep it to yourself.” If Alex with his autism-impaired social skills and my middle school students could comprehend the concept of using restraint in making unkind remarks, adults should be able to do the same. Certainly, we should try to keep our cruel comments to ourselves to avoid hurting others, especially in this negative social climate.
A few days ago, I stopped by the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. As I was chatting with the pharmacist, I heard another pharmacist ask me if I was Alex’s mom. When I looked over, I recognized her as the pharmacist who had been especially helpful in December when we were having trouble getting one of Alex’s medications. [I wrote about this incident in my post “All Is Calm; All is Bright” on December 24, 2017.] Because she had sympathetically listened to my concerns and diligently worked to solve the problem by tracking down the medication, I had written her a thank you note expressing my gratitude for her kindness as well as her time and effort to help me.
A little surprised that she recognized me, I told her that I was Alex’s mom and remembered her from our conversation several weeks ago. She explained that she appreciated my note, which she said had “made her cry because it was so sweet.” She went on to tell me that she has saved the note and pulls it out anytime she is having a bad day. Explaining that pharmacists often take verbal abuse from customers, she appreciated my kind words. Of course, I was pleased that my simple note had meant so much to her, but I was also reminded of the power of words and how we can bless or curse others with them.
For those like Dr. Hotez and the neurodiversity movement who mistakenly believe that parents like me “hate” our children, I can assure you that I love my son unconditionally and will move heaven and earth to make sure he reaches his full potential. With the help of God, therapists, doctors, and pharmacists who care about Alex’s well-being, Ed and I will continue working to restore Alex’s health so that he can enjoy life to the fullest. Moreover, we will strive to teach him by example the importance of kindness so others can see the pure heart and sweet spirit God has given him.
“Kind words are like honey––sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” Proverbs 16:24
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