Christmas Present

With just one more door to open on our Advent calendar, we know that Christmas is imminent. Often, December is a difficult month for Alex, even though he eagerly anticipates his birthday and his favorite holiday, Christmas. Like many with autism, sometimes all the hoopla surrounding the holidays can be a bit much for him. To be honest, all the expectations fueled by the media to create a perfect Christmas can make me anxious, too.

The December issue of a magazine sitting on my coffee table (which is cluttered with Alex’s notebooks and pens, his Jeopardy baseball cap, and his tape measure) insists that I still have things to do in the relatively short time between now and Christmas Day: “MAKE IT MAGICAL!” “Amazing holiday gifts (to buy or DIY)” “Host the Perfect Cookie Swap” and “Deck your halls in striking winter whites.” While magical, amazing, perfect, and striking may be good goals for some, I’m just delighted that my decorations look cheerful, the cookies I baked for family and friends are tasty, and I put careful thought into the gifts I’m giving. More importantly, I have remained calm throughout all the preparations, and so has Alex. As Martha Stewart, whose magazine I quoted, would say, “It’s a good thing.”

In contrast to the perfection stressed by December magazines, autism websites offer helpful tips for families in dealing with the sensory overload that often accompanies the holiday season. Talk About Curing Autism provides practical solutions to make the holidays less overwhelming. In “Talk About The Holidays,” they list good suggestions to make holiday photos, food, gifts, noise, and memories easier and better. [To read this article, please click here.] For example, “Be willing to not take it personally if the child shows no interest in the gift given. It may be something that they will come to treasure at a later date.” Having witnessed that first-hand, I know that tip is on target.

Another helpful website, the Indiana Resource Center for Autism at Indiana University, provides social stories for children and adults with autism to teach them coping skills. [To see their website, please click here.] In a social story titled “Christmas Presents,” a good lesson about being a gracious recipient is provided: “It is good to say ‘thank you’ to the person who gave me the present. If I already have the present or do not like the present, I do not say anything. I smile and say ‘thank you.’ Saying that I do not like a present may hurt the person who gave me the present.” Frankly, this lesson about gratitude could benefit many people, not just those with autism.

With Alex, we have learned over the years to encourage him to participate in holiday activities while constantly watching for signs that he is overwhelmed by sensory overload. For many years, he wasn’t particularly interested in the decorations until they were done, but this year, he seemed to enjoy the process, watching me intently as I hung ornaments on the Christmas tree, set up the Christmas village, and decorated the mantel over the fireplace. Although he offers no suggestions for what gifts he would like to receive, he is completely content to trust my judgment about what I think he will like. Moreover, he seems to have learned the lesson in the social story, smiling and saying “thank you,” never telling me that he doesn’t like a gift, except for the year I gave him socks as a joke and he told me that wasn’t a good gift.

Even though Alex has been remarkably calm and content the past few weeks, we know there’s always the possibility that he can become anxious. Moreover, we know the importance of being flexible, despite the attempts to make Christmas as magical, amazing, and perfect as possible. Last year, we had nearly made it to my brother’s house for our family Christmas get-together when our car skidded slightly on ice. Although this was a momentary loss of control, it was enough to make Alex lose control, and he insisted we had to go home immediately. Despite reassurances, he needed to go home where he felt safe, and we had to honor his requests. While not being able to be with family was disappointing, we had to put his needs first, as we always do. For many years, we didn’t even try to go to family holiday gatherings because Alex couldn’t handle them. At least now we can try, but we prepare ourselves for the possibility that we may have to cancel plans at the last minute. This is the reality of life with autism, which is not always magical, amazing, or perfect.

However, for Alex, Christmas preparations don’t revolve around decorations or food. He will tell you that Christmas is Jesus’ birthday, and he likes to celebrate by listening to Christmas music. In addition to the two Christmas concerts he has enjoyed this holiday season, Alex has been singing Christmas songs with his music therapist and listening to holiday songs on his CD player. Remembering favorite songs from years past, he has sent me searching the house for specific CD’s he wants to hear. The other day, he had me looking for “Glory to God in the Highest” and rewarded my efforts by smiling and swaying to the upbeat contemporary gospel tune. Last night, he requested a Christmas song by gospel songwriters Bill and Gloria Gaither, “Look Who Just Checked In.” After my unsuccessful hunt for the CD with that song, he was able to find a video performance of the song on YouTube. Always curious as to what makes a song special for Alex, I listened to the lyrics along with him:

“Look who just checked in, into the barn, into the world, into the hearts of the boys and girls. Never been a baby quite like Him. Look who just checked in.

He’s the Prince of Peace, the King of Kings, the Lord of the Universe and every little thing. Emmanuel says time again, God is with us once again, once again.”

Despite all the obstacles autism presents in social skills and communication skills and sensory issues, Alex understands the true meaning of Christmas: the birth of our Savior. It’s not decorations or food or presents; it’s the reminder that God sent his Son to Earth to check in to the world and into our hearts. As if that were not gift enough, He gave me my son to remind me what makes Christmas truly magical, amazing, and perfect. “Glory to God in the highest!”

“But the angel said to them, ‘Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is the Messiah, the Lord.” Luke 2:10-11

Christmas Shopping for Kids and Adults with Autism

 

When I was a kid, my siblings and I eagerly awaited the arrival of the Sears Christmas catalog in the mail every November. Known as the Sears Wish Book, the catalog was published annually from 1933-2011. I imagine that in many households, children often impatiently waited their turns to see what the catalog displayed so that they could dream of what Santa would bring them. My brother, sister, and I used the Wish Book to make lists of what Christmas gifts we wanted each year, and every year my brother had to edit his lengthy list. Apparently realizing customers missed that annual tradition and the nostalgia that surrounded it, Sears revived the Wish Book this year with an online edition at their website and a limited printed version for their best customers.

Although the Wish Book was a staple of my childhood, Alex has grown up in the computer age where online shopping and the seemingly endless availability of products on Amazon have changed holiday shopping. By typing in a few clues, I have been able to find gifts that matched his unique interests. For example, his love of the irrational number pi led me to find a door-sized poster with the first one thousand digits of pi, a pie plate with the symbol of pi and several digits, a roll-up tape measure with several digits of pi, and several books about his favorite mathematical concept.

While others are out shopping on Black Friday, I’m home with my laptop scouring possible gifts for Alex. Added to the challenge of finding Christmas gifts he will love is the arrival of his birthday nine days before Christmas. In addition, he rarely gives any suggestions about what he would like, so I’m often working without the lists my siblings and I were kind enough to supply to my parents when we were kids.

Fortunately, other parents facing similar dilemmas of buying gifts for their children with autism have offered ideas and suggestions in helpful online lists. I recently discovered a great blog entry on the Recovering Kids Blog entitled, “Top 25 Foolproof Holiday Gift Ideas for Kids with Autism” that introduced me to the Boogie Board Jot. [To read this article, please click here.] After reading about the Boogie Board Jot, an LCD eWriter for writing lists and drawing with a stylus that can be erased with a push of a button, I knew this was ideal for Alex and his need to jot lists. Some comparison pricing online led me to ordering it from Best Buy, which also had free shipping.

Another great site for shopping is National Autism Resources, which offers a “Toy and Gift Guide for Autistic Kids and Teens.” [To see this list, please click here.] This user-friendly list allows the parent to shop by the age of the child and the type of toy, which is very helpful. Recognizing that many parents of children with autism seek toys that are not only entertaining but also educational, these toys are categorized under the skills they help teach and needs they help meet, such as gross and fine motor, calming, sensory, and social skills.

In gift giving, parents often need to think outside the box because our kids have unique interests and needs. When we find the right gift for our kids, we like to share those ideas with others who might also benefit from our fortunate finds. For example, Alex’s interest in astronomy and meteorology led me beyond books to three gifts that play essential roles in his daily/nightly living and are as important to his bedroom as the furniture. For example, Moon in My Room by Uncle Milton (available at many stores and online) hangs on the wall across from his bed. Using a remote control, he can click on various phases of the moon to light up the battery-operated moon. With an automatic shut-off device, the moon acts as a night light he turns on when he goes to bed but turns off on its own about the time he falls asleep. I think Alex also likes Moon in My Room because it reminds him of one of his favorite childhood bedtime stories, Goodnight Moon. Nonetheless, this Christmas gift continues to be a big hit with him.

After trying various star projectors that illuminate Alex’s ceiling with stars, we finally found one that doesn’t burn through batteries and bulbs quickly. The Vicks Starry Night Cool Moisture Humidifier runs on an electric plug and projects color changing stars on the ceiling with or without the cool mist humidifier. In the winter, the humidifier does double duty by providing moisture for the dry air and entertainment at night with the colorful stars.

Along with astronomy, Alex also has a keen interest in meteorology, and we have gone through a variety of weather stations over the years. A few years ago my brother found a terrific colorful weather station as a Christmas gift for Alex, and it’s one of his prized possessions. Sitting on his bedroom dresser, Alex checks it first thing in the morning and right before he goes to bed, as well as multiple times throughout the day. Alex likes knowing the current weather, indoor and outdoor temperatures and humidity, and the daily high and low data. In addition, this weather station shows the current time and date, two vital pieces of information for Alex. On this small screen, Alex has most of the information he thinks he needs to know every minute of the day. Needless to say, it was a perfect gift for him.

Another great source of entertainment and education, card games by Gamewright, which are available in many stores and online, can teach children and adults many valuable skills. Simply handling the cards helps develop fine motor skills, playing games teaches turn taking and other social skills, and the Gamewright games often address language skills. On Black Friday, I found various Gamewright card games on sale at the Kohl’s website that I thought would be fun and help increase Alex’s social and language skills. For example, Fitz It has the players name objects the fit the descriptions on the game cards, such as naming an object that “comes in a box” and “fits in a blender.” In Think ‘N Sync, players try to match answers to a given prompt, such as naming an ice cream flavor or a sport with halftime. This strikes me as a good way for people with autism to realize that other people may think differently than they do. In the Over Under Game, “The Game of Guesstimates,” players make their best guess and then check the correct answers to see if they were over or under in their estimates. For example, one of the six hundred questions is “How far away is Pluto?” This kind of trivia involving numbers is right up Alex’s alley, and he will probably memorize the answers, making him an even tougher opponent when we play along with Jeopardy every weekday.

Speaking of Jeopardy, for those who love game shows, as Alex does, Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune have online merchandise stores. Last year, I found a Jeopardy baseball cap for him on their site, and he now wears that hat whenever he watches the show. I believe it’s his thinking cap. This year, I found a similar one for Wheel of Fortune so that he can wear that cap when he’s watching Pat and Vanna and contestants solving puzzles every night.

While finding gifts our children will enjoy and perhaps even use to learn important skills can be tricky, especially when they have autism and unique interests and needs, the Internet has made Christmas shopping much easier. The availability of helpful search tools and parents sharing valuable tips makes shopping for our kids less stressful. With Cyber Monday tomorrow, many online stores will offer discounts and my personal favorite––free shipping––so that parents can not only find gifts for their beloved children but also save some money, as well. Until the gift of healing arrives, we search for those gifts that help our children learn and, more importantly, bring them joy.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7

Thinking Caps and Name Tags

 

Every year, I ponder and search for what I think is the perfect Christmas gift for Alex. This year was no exception. Shortly before Christmas, a friend of mine told me that the website for Jeopardy, one of Alex’s favorite game shows, was now selling merchandise with the Jeopardy logo. First, I found a t-shirt emblazoned with “I’ll take fast cars for $200,” which seemed appropriate because it combines Alex’s love of Jeopardy and NASCAR. After ordering that, I found a baseball cap embroidered with the Jeopardy logo that I knew he would love; baseball cap plus Jeopardy plus his favorite color, red, had to be the perfect gift. However, when he opened it on Christmas morning, he wasn’t as enthralled as I thought he would be. Nonetheless, he seemed pleased with his Christmas gifts and was gracious enough to thank us for them.

Knowing that Alex sometimes gets overwhelmed by too many new things, such as all the gifts at Christmas, I didn’t give too much thought to his reaction or lack thereof to the Jeopardy hat. If I thought he didn’t like it, I was wrong. The next week, he came strolling into the family room precisely––as he does every weekday afternoon––at 3:28, ready for Jeopardy to start at 3:30, proudly wearing his Jeopardy hat. In fact, he wore it for the entire show and took it off immediately when the show was over. The next day, he repeated the routine, wearing his Jeopardy hat only for the show. Apparently, he thinks that he can only wear it when the show is airing, and he has continued this ritual since then. I tell him that it’s his thinking cap, and he does seem to be quicker about answering questions when he wears the Jeopardy cap. Maybe like Frosty the Snowman’s top hat, there’s some magic in there.

Another Christmas gift we gave Alex was a Burger King gift card. He likes the idea of being able to pay for his own food, and he manages better with a gift card than trying to handle cash. Nearly every Friday afternoon, his behavioral therapist and I take him to our nearby Burger King for recreational therapy so that he learns how to interact appropriately with other people: waiting in line, ordering his food, using please and thank you, and clearing his tray when he leaves. Apparently, he has endeared himself to some of the staff there who are on a first-name basis with him; he returns their kindness by naming them in his nightly prayers. Two of his favorites even gave him a Chicago Cubs World Series ornament personalized with his name for Christmas, which delighted him, and I think his obvious joy delighted them, too.

Recently, Ed had a reception at work and would not be coming home for dinner, so Alex and I decided to go out for dinner. Knowing that Alex feels comfortable at Burger King, I thought that would be a good choice. As we waited to order our food, I noticed that the young man taking orders was heavily tattooed and had assorted piercings. Wondering whether Alex would notice the worker’s appearance and hoping that he would not feel the need to make any comments, I was ready to intervene. If necessary, I would subtly and quietly remind Alex not to stare or say rude things. When we walked up to give our order, I tried not to stare myself and hoped Alex would use the social skills his behavioral therapist and Ed and I have taught him.

While getting ready to give our order, I saw that Alex was looking at the young man and smiling a bemused smile. When the worker greeted us, Alex started to speak, and I was a little worried because I had no idea what he would say. Suddenly, “Hi, Joey!” came from his mouth. Startled but relieved, I realized that Alex had not been looking at the young man’s tattoos or piercings, but instead was checking out his name tag so that he could say hello. Unlike me, Alex was able to overlook this young man’s appearance and seek a way to interact with him positively, greeting him by name, just as the friendly Burger King employees have done with him. He knows that it makes him feel good for people to call him by name, and he returned the favor. Interestingly enough, Alex has also added Joey to his nightly bedtime prayer list. How proud I am to have raised a son with a heart so pure that he looks beyond appearances and sees the real person behind them! Now, that is a perfect gift that he gives to me.

“Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full––pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.” Luke 6:38

Good and Perfect Gifts

 

This week I read an interesting essay written by another mother of an adult son with autism. [To read this essay, please click here.] Entitled “Prayer Power,” Kathy Bolduc’s blog entry describes the importance of constantly praying for our children, even when our prayers appear to go unanswered. She writes, “I don’t know about you, but I pray and pray for my son, Joel, who has autism. Many times I do not see specific answers to those prayers.” She goes on to describe the struggles of trying to find ways to make her son more independent through day programs and jobs, praying that he can live a “happy and fulfilled life.” While she admits, “I realize that my prayers will not always be answered in the way that I think they should be. God knows the bigger picture,” she believes Satan is often to blame. She states, “And I also realize that Satan has more than a toe-hold in this world…He will try to block my prayers whenever possible.” While I completely agree about the need to pray for our children constantly, I don’t give Satan the credit she does. Moreover, the longer I live, the more I don’t believe that prayers go unanswered.

Five years ago when Alex was so consumed with anxiety that he could not cope with the smallest of changes, we prayed for ways to help make him better. When every day was a struggle to keep him safe because his adrenaline rushes made him aggressive and out of control, throwing and breaking objects, as well as attacking us verbally and physically, we prayed for peace in our home. When we could not find any professionals who seemed to know what was causing our sweet and docile son to turn into an angry young man, we prayed for God to show us the way. We didn’t get answers right away, but we held onto our faith and kept praying anyway because we didn’t know what else to do.

Things had to get so bad and so out of control that we were willing to turn over our son to the only place where he could receive the care he desperately needed: a locked psychiatric ward of a hospital forty minutes away from home. After we had exhausted all of the local resources and had not found answers, we were exhausted physically and emotionally, and we knew this was the only way to save our son. God led us down this path, and even though it was heartbreaking, this hospitalization was the first step in Alex’s healing. There, we found professionals who understood that hormonal surges of the late teens and early twenties had ramped up Alex’s anxiety to where he could not function. Moreover, the Prozac he had been taking for nearly ten years to help his OCD was no longer effective, making his anxiety even worse. After several weeks of trying various medications, they were able to come up with a combination that kept his anxiety under control so that his behavior was under control. Moreover, they helped us navigate the state bureaucracy to get Alex the support services he needed in record time. God knew what we needed and how to get there; He answered our prayers in unexpected ways.

Through the teachings of Pastor Joel Osteen and my experiences in life, I have learned that God answers prayers in a variety of ways. While we would like for Him to say “Yes” immediately, that is not always in our best interests. Sometimes He says “No,” knowing that His ways are better than ours, closing doors that we keep trying to open. In our life with autism, I have learned that God often makes me wait before answering prayers, developing my patience and my faith and my trust in Him. Sometimes, waiting is necessary to prepare us for the next step; God knows better than I do about when I’m really ready to handle something new. Furthermore, I don’t give Satan credence, as Kathy Bolduc does, in my prayer conversations with God. I firmly believe that God hears my prayers and makes the decisions as to how to answer them—yes/no/not yet––without any interference from anyone. Even through the darkest days, God was beside us, guiding us with His knowledge, grace, and love toward the light we now see clearly.

On Friday, Alex turned twenty-five. In the past, I have felt a little wistful on his birthdays, wishing that he were further along in his development of language and social skills and concerned about his lack of independence. This year, I felt none of that disappointment. In fact, I told his therapist the other day that twenty-four had been my favorite age of his because he has been such a joy this past year. Since he has overcome so many issues, learned to manage his anxiety successfully and been able to enjoy a variety of activities, he has lived a more typical life. Most importantly, he is happy and healthy. Before going through the fire with Alex, I might have bowed to superstition and crossed my fingers and knocked on wood that this peaceful, contented life would continue. However, I have faith that God is only going to make things better. Certainly, we still have obstacles and potential setbacks ahead, but I know that God has great plans for Alex, even though I don’t know exactly what they are.

As I was putting Alex to bed the night of his birthday, after a day of presents he liked, a delicious meal at a nice restaurant, a visit with his beloved grandparents, good wishes from family and friends, and his favorite gluten-free and dairy free birthday cake, I asked him what he liked best about his birthday. I honestly thought he’d tell me the shrimp he’d had for dinner, since he’d rated his meal at “one hundred percent.” However, after a quick reflection on the day, he smiled and said, “Everything!” I thought nothing was better than that until last night when Ed asked him the same question, and he responded again with the same answer. Trying to give me credit for arranging the details of a seemingly perfect birthday, Ed asked Alex who had made his birthday so special. Without a moment’s hesitation, Alex replied, “God!” Only too happy to give proper credit and glory to God, I’m not only thankful for the wisdom and faith He has given my precious son but also for always answering our prayers in ways that only He knows best, those “good and perfect gifts…from above.”

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

Surprising Gifts

 

Yesterday, an autism mom friend shared an interesting article on Facebook that caught my attention. Entitled “Top 10 Traits of Individuals with Autism Which Get Overlooked,” this blog essay explains unique gifts people with autism sometimes possess. [To read this article, please click here.] A common saying regarding individual differences among people with autism goes, “You’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism”; however, certain traits appear to be common in many people with autism. This particular article highlights some rare talents that many people with autism seem to share. As I read through the list, five of them immediately resonated with me because they describe some of Alex’s unique gifts perfectly.

“People with autism have exceptional long-term memory.” This trait highlights the ability to remember details from many years ago and the aptitude for rote learning and recollection of facts. If Alex hears or sees a particular year, he will often tell us something he remembers specifically from that time, even if it seems rather insignificant, such as having a cold on that date. He often reminds us of the date of the Super Bowl Sunday when he was little and threw up seven times. (I, on the other hand, chose to block out the memory of that day!) As I play Jeopardy with Alex every weekday, I’m amazed by the specific facts he can recall, especially about history, geography, and science. When I ask him how he knows this information, he can tell me his source of facts, such as a particular book, website, or television show. Apparently, he can visualize these details in his mind and rapidly retrieve them from his memory, which amazes me. Also, he always remembers everyone in the family’s birth date, which helps me send birthday cards on time every year.

“People with autism excel at auditory and visual tasks.” Besides his ability to visualize details from his memory, Alex also has exceptional auditory memory. He would be a whiz at the old game show Name That Tune because he can recognize familiar songs after only hearing a few of the opening notes. In addition, he can tell us the name of the group or singer of the song. Because of his eclectic taste in music, he seems to have a large music library stored in his head. We are also discovering that he knows many song lyrics as he has recently begun singing aloud.

“People with autism demonstrate impressive math skills.” I would go a step beyond and say that Alex has savant math skills. His ability to calculate math problems mentally with accuracy and speed is nothing short of astonishing. Unlike the character of Raymond Babbitt in Rain Man, however, Alex can use his math skills in practical ways and has an awareness of how much things cost, probably because he watches The Price Is Right every day and follows the stock market faithfully. In addition, he pays attention to gas prices, noting their rise or fall. When we are driving in the car, he will tell us whether the gas prices have gone up or down since previous day, and he informs us of the difference in prices between gas stations as we drive along. For example, he will say, “Gas is two cents cheaper at Luke Oil than at Family Express.” This requires him to notice the prices on the gas signs, remember the exact amounts, compare/contrast the prices, calculate the difference, and communicate to us his observations. He saves us from having to check the Gas Buddy website, and we find his enthusiasm about sharing his data endearing. Again, his keen memory serves him well because he can not only see numbers in his mind to solve problems, but he can also easily recall over one thousand digits of pi, picturing the sequence of numbers as clearly as if he were reading them off the page.

“People with autism have an eye for detail.” Alex is amazingly perceptive, especially when it comes to his beloved numbers. For example, whenever our car thermometer registers the outdoor temperature as 63 degrees, he’ll excitedly tell us, “Sixty-three! That’s like Mommy’s, Aunt Tammy’s, Aunt Kim’s, Aunt Babs’, and Aunt Pat’s height in inches!” (Yes, he has several female relatives who are all the same height.) He also notes when the car clock registers the same number in minutes as the temperature, such as when it’s 5:43 and 43 degrees. He’ll enthusiastically share this information and exclaim, “That’s rare!” (However, it’s not as rare as one might think because this phenomenon seems to happen at least once a week.)

Alex also has an eye for errors, which makes him an excellent proofreader. At basketball games, he often tells us when the scoreboard is wrong, yet he patiently waits for the mistakes to be corrected. He brings us books that have typos and asks us to fix the misspelled words or missing punctuation, showing that he inherited his English teacher parents’ bent for precision in writing. Last week, he brought me one of his NASCAR books and indignantly told me that it was incorrect about what year Michael Waltrip won the Daytona 500. Alex was right; the book was wrong. Last night as we were watching Music Choice on television that features songs from particular decades along with quick facts flashed on the screen about the artists, he suddenly said, “There’s an apostrophe missing.” Not seeing the error at first glance, I asked him to show me where. He pointed to the screen and explained, “Didn’t needs an apostrophe.” By golly, he was right; they had forgotten to put the apostrophe in that word. Not only am I impressed with his precision and ability to notice small details, but I’m also pretty proud as the one who taught him grammar that he knows the rules so well.

“People with autism are non-judgmental.” Alex doesn’t seem to notice people’s appearance; therefore, he does not judge people based on the color of their skin or their size, although he is impressed by very tall people. Perhaps because his eye contact is not very good, he pays more attention to people’s voices. More important to Alex than how people look is how they act, and he seems to be intuitive about people, recognizing and appreciating those who are kind to him. He seems to see past the exterior and focus on the interior––the good hearts he can easily recognize.

Despite the difficulties autism has imposed on Alex’s life, he has been blessed with special gifts that allow him to see the world in unique ways. As his speech has improved over time so that he can convey his thoughts, we have been able to glimpse how his mind works and how he perceives the extraordinary in ordinary occurrences. Moreover, we have been able to share his enthusiasm for everyday life and the joy he finds in unexpected places.

“It is the one and only Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.” I Corinthians 12:11

Gifts

 

In the family photograph taken a few days ago on Christmas night, Alex is easy to spot. Among the two grandparents, three siblings and their three spouses, five cousins, two nieces’ boyfriends, and a little dog, only Alex and the dog are not looking at the camera. With Ed’s hand on Alex’s shoulder, my right arm around his waist and my left hand holding his left arm, we make certain that he doesn’t suddenly leave the group before the camera timer goes off and snaps the picture with him walking away. Although it would be nice if he were focused and smiling and free of Ed’s and my grasp, we are pleased he is there. Last year was the first time in many years that the three of us could join the rest of the family for a Christmas celebration, and despite all the confusion that fifteen people and a dog can bring, Alex remained calm and pleasant the entire evening. This is a gift.

On Monday, we took Alex to a new family doctor for a regular check-up. In the past few years, we have taken him to various family doctors because some have taken other jobs out of town and others have refused to take our health insurance. Each time we start with a new doctor, I have to recite Alex’s medical history, explaining how various aspects of autism, including gluten and casein sensitivities, candida overgrowth, and heavy metal poisoning, have affected his health. We liked the new doctor’s manner and his interaction with Alex, who was amazingly patient (and an amazing patient) as the doctor carefully assessed his medical history and recent blood test results and then thoroughly examined him.

Pleased with how well this first appointment had gone and what a positive first impression Alex had made, we were content to leave once we had asked and answered questions. However, the doctor turned to Alex and asked if he had any questions. Because Alex usually relies upon us as his legal health care representatives to communicate for him, we were surprised to hear him speak up and ask how long it would take for his toenail to heal. Taking Alex seriously, the doctor had him take off his shoe and sock, carefully examined the toe, and told him about three months, which satisfied Alex. Not only had Alex sat through the entire appointment without becoming anxious about how long it was taking, but he had also become an active participant in the process. This is a gift.

Later that afternoon, he also had a regular six-month appointment with his psychiatric nurse practitioner who oversees his medications for anxiety. Since she has taken care of him for nearly four years, we feel comfortable with her and expected a routine appointment because we knew his blood tests had all shown normal results. However, we didn’t anticipate having to sit in a crowded waiting room for nearly an hour. Wondering whether Alex had used up all his patience during the morning appointment, Ed and I tried to keep him entertained with a book we had brought about—of all things––time. While the two of us became more annoyed about having to wait, Alex remained remarkably calm. This is a gift.

After we were finally ushered from the waiting room to her office, Alex once again showed the progress he has made by answering all of her questions and relying less upon us to speak for him. Despite computer problems that meant she had to write all of his prescriptions by hand instead of the much faster electronic method, Alex sat patiently. When it was time to leave, we thanked her, and Alex walked toward her. Thinking that he just wanted to see what was on her computer screen, Ed and I were pleasantly surprised that he offered his hand to her for a handshake (As usual, he mistakenly extended his left hand instead of his right hand, but still this is progress in his social skills!) and politely said goodbye. This is a gift.

On Christmas Eve, Alex indicated that he wanted to go to church, as we had last year for the first time in many years, mainly because his cousin was singing in the choir. Like last year, we were pleased that he sat quietly yet seemed to enjoy listening to the choirs sing as well as watching children on the stage listening to the Christmas story. This year, as he smiled and swayed to the familiar carols, he also watched the lyrics projected on the screen at the front of the church. And then, he began to sing along. This is a gift.

On Christmas night, as we prepared to leave the family gathering, Alex hugged my parents with his typical loose arms and with his head leaned toward the other person’s shoulder, and then he purposefully headed toward the fireplace. Because Ed and I are always on guard, we followed on his heels, making sure that he wasn’t going to harm any fragile decorations that may have caught his eye. Then he leaned down and gently patted the head of my brother’s little dog who was resting there. Alex, who never pays much attention to animals, apparently wanted to say goodbye to the dog, the only other one in the family photo not looking at the camera. We thought he was oblivious to her presence, especially since she was lying in the corner of the room, but he had noticed her and wanted to show affection to her before leaving. This is a gift.

In the day-to-day busyness of life, especially life with autism, we may not always notice the little things. Yet, this week Alex revealed that he continues to make progress, and God revealed that He is continuing to heal Alex. How thankful we are for these precious gifts!

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Galatians 6:9

Autism Holiday Shopping

 

Yesterday I began my annual quest to find the perfect birthday and Christmas gifts for Alex. Since his birthday falls nine days before Christmas, the importance of this adventure becomes double as I seek to find items that will not only thrill him for his birthday but will also keep him amused until the highly anticipated Christmas morning. A primary factor in finding these gifts is that they are not dangerous. Over the years, I have rejected toys for the following reasons: (1) toys with small pieces (choking hazard because he chewed on things until he was a teenager and stepping hazard for me because he left things all over the floor for me to find painfully when barefoot), (2) toys that were never intended to be thrown but would shatter if used incorrectly or would do property damage to things in their pathways or would hurt when hitting their intended targets––Ed or I––if hurled by an angry Alex, or (3) toys that for some strange reason he found upsetting (e.g. the “Don’t Like Elves!” phase of 1998). Thankfully, for nearly two dozen years, I have been mostly successful.

This week I read an entertaining essay on the Thinking Moms’ Revolution blog [To read this article, please click here.] entitled “The Great Autism Gift Scramble” that discusses the dilemma we autism moms face every year for our children’s birthdays and Christmas. Specifically, she describes trying to locate a copy of her child’s favorite Disney video Aladdin and the frantic search that ensued. In addition, she explains the “create a gift” problems that arise when children request something unique, such as “the dinosaur that talks and is pink polka dotted,” and she wonders whether she didn’t quite understand what the child wanted or whether the child had imagined the item or whether her child was simply messing with her. Nonetheless, she faithfully attempted to hunt down those desired objects. Last year, her daughter, who is interested in classic Hollywood, requested a movie star nutcracker, sending this devoted autism mom again on a wild goose chase to find the perfect gift. As she explains, “I repeat: you will do anything for them. Besides they deserve this tiny bit of happy.”

Similarly, I read a news article this week about an autism mom in Canada whose twelve-year-old son is obsessed with only the primrose-colored Crayola markers. [To read this news report, please click here.] If he cannot find his precious primrose markers, he goes into meltdown mode. As his mother, Stacey Haley, explains: “No primrose means hell in my household.” After making a plea for people to send her primrose markers, she received packages from around the world containing primrose markers. In addition, Crayola heard her story and also sent her primrose markers; therefore, she has requested that people no longer send markers anymore because they now have plenty. Overwhelmed by the generosity of strangers, she noted, “What started as a little ask for my son has turned into a movement of supportive communities who have gone out of their way to make a difference in the life of our family.”

Fortunately, Alex has not asked for anything elusive, unusual, or nonexistent this year. A few years ago, he wanted old calendars for Christmas, which taxed my brain until I thought about old calendar towels. Then I discovered the magic of eBay, which connected me to people who apparently hoarded antique linen calendars until deciding to sell them to crazy autism moms like me. Now he has a collection of towels from various decades of the 1900’s. Of course, he has moved on from that obsession, and the highly sought old calendars now sit folded in a box as a memory of Christmas Past.

This year, when asked what he wants for his birthday and Christmas, Alex has no requests. I specifically asked him the other day what he wanted when Ed’s sister asked me to ask him so that she could fulfill a wish. Even reminding him that she could track down something in New York that he could not find here, he still was noncommittal, asking me, “What would be good?” With no help from him, I suggested that she send him a gift card from Barnes and Noble so that he could pick out books when he was more decisive.

Of course, this did not solve my problem of what I should get him. Yesterday, I set out in the early morning hours, armed with small envelopes labeled individually with store names and their opening times along with notes about some items to look for and coupons for discounts (and realizing that Alex did, indeed, get his OCD from me). With my Skechers Go Walk sneakers and my Fit Bit Zip to record my steps, I was ready to walk to the ends of the earth (or at least through selected stores in my area) to find perfect gifts for Alex. After four hours and 2.53 miles (according to my Fit Bit Zip), I felt triumphant.

As I scoured the stores’ shelves, I realized that even though Alex is a young adult, most of the same criteria apply for the perfect gift now as they did when he was younger although thankfully he doesn’t throw things in anger anymore. The teacher in me looks for gifts that are educational, items that will encourage developing his speech, language, fine motor, and social skills, which means I spend a lot of time looking at books and games. Knowing his love of sports and music, I look through the fans’ section for his favorite teams and search through the CD’s for something new for his listening pleasure. If in doubt, I always choose something in red, his favorite color. Of course, I also have to keep the annual tradition of getting him at least one calendar, a new Old Farmers’ Almanac, and the latest edition of the World Almanac, which he loves so much that he literally sleeps with it.

While I wish that Alex could give me some guidance about a gift he would really like this year, I suppose I should be grateful that he’s not asking me for something nearly impossible to find. In addition, I think his lack of gift requests probably means at least one of several possibilities:
He trusts me completely to choose gifts he will like.
He has truly become a man, and we all know that men never give good gift suggestions (or at least I have learned this from his father and my father).
He has everything he wants and needs in life, so anything else is just a bonus.
He is totally content with his life and really doesn’t need anything to make him any happier.
As I watched him study with delight the ornaments on our Christmas tree this week, I think that the latter reason is probably the most likely one. After all, as Alex reminds me, Christmas is Jesus’ birthday, and that’s the best reason to celebrate. Certainly, we also think Alex’s birthday is pretty special, and as we celebrate the birth of God’s son, we also thank God for the birth of our son and for all that He has given us.

“Yes, you will be enriched in every way so that you can always be generous. And when we take your gifts to those who need them, they will thank God.” 2 Corinthians 9:11

Twelve Days of Christmas

When I was a kid growing up in the 1960’s and ‘70’s, long before online shopping was a common convenience, my parents had us look through Christmas catalogs from J. C. Penney and Sears to make our wish lists for Santa. My brother and sister and I would look over the catalogs in wonderment, and at some point, my mom would secretly phone in our family order, which my dad would secretly pick up at the stores downtown, allowing our belief in Santa to continue until we were a little older. While I’m sure that keeping all those items on the wish lists straight for three kids wasn’t always easy, at least we gave them ideas about what we would like to have.

In contrast, up until last year, Alex rarely gave us any suggestions about what he would like for Christmas, often answering our request for ideas by saying, “What would be good?” He gets that gift indecision honestly, as I suspect most males are terrible about providing ideas for gifts. In the twenty-five years I’ve been married to Ed, he has never offered any ideas about what he would like for a gift, leaving me to puzzle over what to get him. Nonetheless, I spend the month of December brainstorming potential gifts for both Alex and Ed and hope that I might come up with some presents they will like. Instead of viewing this process as an exercise in frustration, I see it as a challenge.

Since Alex has given me several good specific suggestions, he has made Christmas shopping for him pretty easy this year. As I was sorting through shopping bags this morning, getting ready to wrap gifts, I was reminded of a blog entry I wrote three years ago as an imitation of the Christmas carol “The Twelve Days of Christmas,” in which I substituted the things Alex would like to have at that time. [To read this blog entry, please click here.] Because his interests have changed a bit, I decided to update the list this year, a revised version of Alex’s Twelve Days of Christmas.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Alex asked of me:

An iPad Mini

To see the stars

A Rudolph ornament

A world records book

Listen to Amy Grant

A light-up toothbrush

A nutrition book

A Target gift card

A calendar

Three almanacs

Two board games

And a hot bath full of Epsom salt.

Although I appreciate that Alex can now express what he wants, I’m even more pleased that he understands the real reason for Christmas, explaining that it’s “Jesus’ birthday.” This year he has enjoyed looking through Christmas cards sent by family and friends, and his favorite seems to be the one from my sister (whose college degree in math and melodic voice make her “special” to him) and her family, who each signed the card individually. In fact, he carried off their card that proclaims, “Joy to the World” to his bedroom. Yesterday, I heard him humming loudly that old carol, “Joy to the World,” which brought tears of joy to my eyes. This Christmas, we are thankful for the joy Alex has found again, which brings us joy, as well. Indeed, “Repeat the sounding joy, repeat the sounding joy, repeat, repeat the sounding joy!” Merry Christmas and in the words of Charles Dickens’ beloved character from A Christmas Carol, Tiny Tim, “God bless us, every one!”

“…I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David!” Luke 2:10

Christmas Gifts

-->

With the Christmas rush behind us, we can take time to savor the season and appreciate the unexpected gifts we may not have noticed in the flurry of activities surrounding the holidays. Specifically, I am grateful for the following “gifts.”

For once, Alex actually gave me specific ideas about what he would like for Christmas. In years past, he would occasionally make a suggestion or two, but this year, he seemed to have some definite ideas about what he wanted. One request was a Chicago Cubs blanket, which was a great idea because his medications make him feel cold a lot of the time, and he is often wrapped up in a blanket to keep warm. A quick Google search enabled me to find a nice fleece blanket with the Cubs logo at Bed Bath and Beyond, which my mom picked up for him and gave him as a present from my parents. This gift has been put to good use this cold week, as Alex wraps himself in the soft warmth of the blanket.

Besides the blanket request, Alex also asked for some DVDs; he wanted the entire Shrek collection of movies and a movie about football. This led me to online shopping at Amazon, where I found all four Shrek movies in a nice set and a DVD on the history of the Chicago Bears. What Alex didn’t know was that I had made a great Black Friday purchase from Target of a portable DVD player on sale for half price so that he can watch DVDs in his room. Interestingly, Alex has not had a lot of interest in watching movies the last few years even though he loved watching Disney movies when he was little. Recently, he decided he wanted to watch the Harry Potter movies, and we were surprised how well he was able to focus upon the plot and enjoy the movie. This improvement in his attention span is a gift in itself to us.

Another pastime Alex has enjoyed lately is listening to music. Throughout the month of December, he and I listened for hours on end to Christmas CD’s. While we have several Christmas music CD’s by country singers that he knows and likes, he decided that his favorite one was my Amy Grant Christmas CD. In fact, he’s now such a fan of hers that he says she’s his favorite singer, and he’s requested to listen to her other CD’s that I have. Had I recognized his devotion to her, I would have gotten him one of her CD’s for Christmas. Instead, I went with his previous favorite singers and bought him the most recent CD’s from Alan Jackson and Taylor Swift, both of which he likes, as well. Fortunately, Alex and I share similar tastes in music, so listening to music is a pleasant activity that we can do together.

Aside from the various typical gifts, I’m also thankful for other improvements in Alex. One of these is the reemergence of his sense of humor.  When he was overwhelmed with anxiety, he seemed to have lost his quick wit, which also seemed dulled by the medications to help his anxiety and made him sleepy. Because he’s been more alert lately, he’s more observant and better able to communicate. A couple of weeks ago, Alex was talking to my brother and asking him how much he weighed. When my brother told Alex his weight, Alex was thrilled to have that information. Although Alex weighs forty pounds less than my brother, when asked how much he weighs, he immediately deducted two pounds from my brother’s weight and claimed that’s how much he weighs. He was delighted when we all laughed at his comment, and it was nice to see him enjoy making a joke.

Another positive change is Alex’s desire for grooming. Last year, he refused to cooperate with getting haircuts and shaving, perhaps because these activities overwhelmed him with sensory stimuli. As a result, he looked like a shaggy bum for several months. Now, not only does he allow me to cut his hair and shave him, but also he seems to enjoy being groomed and even asks me for haircuts or shaves. He looks so much better with shorter hair and clean-shaven, and I’m pleased that he lets me keep him well groomed.

Probably the most noticeable difference in Alex is that he welcomes my presence. Last year, he much preferred Ed’s company to mine, even telling me bluntly at times, “Mommy is leaving now!” Lately, he likes hanging out with me, listening to music, watching television and videos, and just talking. I’m pleased that he seems to be coming out of the fog and is able to answer and ask questions clearly so that we can have conversations again. Of course, there can be too much of a good thing, and he’s currently a bit clingy, wanting to know where I am at all times, which at times feels a bit like I am being stalked. While I’m glad that he likes my company, I’m hopeful that he will soon be less of a Mama’s boy so that he can be more independent in entertaining himself, and I can go about my activities without always providing him a detailed report of where I’m going and what I’m doing. In the meantime, I remember that he won’t always want to hang around with me, so I need to enjoy his adoration while it lasts.  Truthfully, I’ll be glad when he’s not as fond of me, though.

Reflecting on this Christmas season, I’m thankful for the joy we can now see in Alex’s eyes when he’s engaged in his favorite activities, the love that has carried the three of us through good times and bad, and the hope that Alex will continue to get better and better. In the words of an Amy Grant Christmas song that is a favorite of Alex’s and mine: “Love has come for the world to know, as the wise men knew such a long time ago. I believe that angels sang that hope had begun when the God of glory, who is full of mercy, sent His Son.” And in the words of Charles Dickens’ beloved character Tiny Tim, “God bless us, every one!”

“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing.”  Romans 15:13

Saving/Savoring

Last Christmas, we gave Alex several gifts we thought he would like, but once he opened them, he didn’t show much interest in them. Since he rarely offers suggestions about gifts he would like to have, we use our best judgment in selecting items we think he would enjoy, based upon his interests. However, we apparently don’t always hit the mark in our choices, or so we may think at the time. After he left these gifts untouched for a couple of weeks. I put them in a plastic storage bin in his bedroom, hoping eventually he’d discover them. After ignoring them for nearly a year, he finally started pulling these hidden treasures out of the storage bin and seemed to find them entertaining, studying the trivia cards in the Brainiac Box and Big Brain Academy game, reading The Old Farmer's Almanac for 2011, and writing on the Magna Doodle he’d received last Christmas. In addition, a gift that I thought would be a big hit with him, Loopz, an electronic game that makes musical sounds, finally received the positive response I’d anticipated when I bought it for him because he has really enjoyed playing with it the past few weeks.

Similarly, this Christmas, Alex didn’t seem terribly pleased with the various gifts I had tracked down for him in hopes of getting something that he would find engaging. After giving the new gifts a cursory look, he returned to the old and familiar, eschewing the new. Like parents whose small children favor the box over the special gift that came inside it, I felt disappointed and frankly a little hurt by his reaction. On the other hand, as Ed pointed out to me, perhaps in a few days or weeks or even months, he’ll discover these gifts—as he did the ones from last year—and suddenly be enthralled with them. I’m not anticipating that reaction any time soon, though. Yesterday, he brought one of his all-time favorite Christmas gifts, a rare one in that he had actually requested it, a graphing calculator he received about ten years ago. Through the years, this calculator has been one of his prized possessions. In fact, we even used it as a way to make him behave by threatening to take away his graphing calculator if he didn’t cooperate with us, and this worked like a charm. When he brought me the beloved calculator yesterday, he told me that he needed a new one because this one didn’t work. A bit surprised by how calmly he was handling the loss of one of his favorite gadgets, I tried to reassure him that maybe it just needed new batteries. Unfortunately, Alex’s assessment was accurate; the calculator was broken and needed to be replaced. He nicely asked me to find another one online and buy it for him, knowing that he had received money for Christmas. A quick online check revealed that our local K-Mart had one just like his old one in stock, and he was delighted when I brought home the replacement, unfazed by the loss of his old calculator. He spent most of the rest of the day, entering data in the new graphing calculator and studying the instruction manual. How I wish that I could solve all of his problems that quickly and easily!

The more I think about Alex’s reaction to his gifts the past two Christmases, the more I begin to suspect that he is overwhelmed by his gifts and doesn’t know how to react, other than to withdraw from them and seek out the comfort of the old and familiar. Like many with autism, he often prefers the predictable and the routine. He can only deal with the new gifts when he is ready, sometimes saving them until he feels comfortable. Once he discovers these gifts, he finally appreciates the thought behind them or at least realizes their value as fun ways to pass time. Moreover, a select few, like the graphing calculator, become gifts that he savors over time. With that in mind, I’ll leave out his gifts of Christmas 2011 for another week, and then I’ll put them in the storage bin in his room, waiting and hoping that eventually he’ll enjoy them.

“Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him.” Psalm 62:5

Stocking Stuffers

A few days ago, I finished up my Christmas shopping by purchasing stocking stuffers for Ed and Alex. To me, this task offers a fun challenge as I try to find clever and inexpensive gifts small enough to fit into their Christmas stockings that hang from our fireplace mantel. Since Alex doesn’t particularly like candy and can only eat foods that are gluten-free and casein-free (essentially free of wheat flour and milk products), most of the typical Christmas candies are not on his diet. I got him some snowman Peeps marshmallow candies and some Kraft marshmallows in the holiday shapes of pale green Christmas trees and pale red stars. He’s come to expect a copy of the new Farmer’s Almanac in his stocking every year, so I have one of those to tuck in the top, along with a pocket-sized puzzle book. In addition, the success of a multi-ink pen from last year led me to find two different (true colors and pastels) four-in-one ballpoint Bic pens. I have a feeling those may be among his favorite gifts this year, considering all the list writing he’s been doing lately. We shall see.

In the tradition of stocking stuffers, where a variety of small items are gathered together in one place, I thought I’d write about a few small topics and gather them together into one. Besides sharing the contents of Alex’s Christmas stocking, I wanted to share a link [Click here] to an online Business Week article whose title alone intrigued me: “Wal-Mart Joining Amazon to Promote Rage-Free Packaging.” Apparently these two major retailers, who happen to be among Alex’s favorites, have encouraged manufacturers to limit packaging that is not only wasteful but also causes a condition known as “wrap rage,” a frustration from trying to open the package. While “wrap rage” sounds like something only children with autism might experience because of their fine motor and sensory issues, apparently typical people suffer from this malady, as well. When Alex was younger, I often took his gifts out of the hard plastic shells before he ever saw them so that he could open them more easily; in addition, I would put batteries in his toys so that he didn’t have to wait for me to figure out how to open the childproof battery compartment. This year, I have decided to return to the good old days when Santa simply laid out Alex’s gifts beside the fireplace instead of wrapping them. Since he hasn’t been terribly patient lately, I figure that saves him a step before he can actually get to the gifts. Besides, that saves me from wrapping them, something he doesn’t seem to appreciate currently. I guess that’s my version of “rage-free packaging.” I have my fingers crossed that this works.

Another Christmas task besides not wrapping Alex’s gifts that I decided to forego this year was sending Christmas cards. When Alex was little, I was really good about taking the annual picture of him in front of the Christmas tree or the “stockings hung by the chimney with care,” but as he got older and less interested in having his picture taken, the novelty of that tradition faded. However, this year, I tried something new as I made a JibJab video with the three of us, and I think it turned out pretty amusing. [Click here for the video, which becomes our Christmas card this year.] My friends who have already seen the video have commented that telling Alex and me apart is tricky in the cartoon hats. Because his build is identical to Ed’s and some of his features are more Ed’s than mine, I don’t think of him as looking that much like me. However, dressed as elves (Alex’s nemesis, as I described in “Santa’s Spies” [Click here]), we clearly have a family resemblance. Making this video certainly beats trying to convince young adult Alex to stand still in front of the tree and smile. Plus, I don’t have to make a run to the post office when I’m done; sharing holiday greetings over the Internet certainly makes life easier.

And so, on this Christmas Day, I wish for everyone, but especially those families whose lives like ours have been touched by autism, peace, hope, and joy as we love these children and pray for their healing. May God’s greatest gift, His Son Jesus Christ, remind us how much He loves us.

“Suddenly, the angel was joined by a vast host of others—the armies of heaven—praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to those with whom God is pleased.’” Luke 2:13-14

Twelve Days

With only a few days to go until Christmas, I'll admit that I don't have a single gift wrapped and I have yet to bake any cookies. In fact, I even have a few more gifts to buy. While I am usually very organized, somehow this year, I'm not as ready for the holidays as I'd like to be. Although I'm sure I'll pull things together in the next few days, I decided to recycle one of my blog posts from last year about some of Alex's favorite things in one of his favorite formats, the numbered list. In re-reading this list, I realize that despite the various changes he makes, in many ways Alex's interests, particularly when it comes to numbers and games stays the same. Among the gifts I need to wrap for him include a math calendar, an almanac, and a calculator, and I hope he finds the joy in these gifts that he has in previous years.


Alex’s Twelve Days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my Alex found with glee

Twelve-month calendars,
Eleven almanacs,
Ten lists in notebooks,
Nine calculators,
Eight game shows to watch,
Sevens on slot machines,
Six Google searches,
NASCAR’s 5 car,
Four record temps,
Three precise clocks,
Two slip-on shoes,
And pi digits to infinity.

Merry Christmas to all, especially to those children with autism who make our lives more interesting with their unique takes on the world!

“So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask Him.” Matthew 7:11

Getting Christmas Presents

As I mentioned in my last blog post, buying gifts for Alex is sometimes a challenge. While I’m fortunate that we have Wal-Mart, Kmart, Target, Kohl’s, Penney’s, and Barnes and Noble in our town that offer a variety of items for shopping, I also do a lot of online shopping for him. When I can’t find items locally at the aforementioned stores, I often check their websites to see what I can get online. Both Kohl’s and Penney’s websites [www.kohls.com and www.jcp.com] offer a nice feature where the shopper can browse for gifts by the intended recipient and/or cost of gift. Besides these stores, I also shop a great deal online at Amazon [www.amazon.com], which is Alex’s favorite online store because of the wide variety of books, toys, games, and electronic gadgets they carry. In fact, I often suggest that Alex’s aunts and uncles get him Amazon gift cards because he has so much fun shopping for items online.

Since Alex has often had interests that were not typical of kids his age, I also have found specialty catalogs especially helpful in finding Christmas gifts for him. I have no connection with the following companies other than being a pleased customer, and I would highly recommend them to anyone looking for unique gifts for hard-to-buy-for children and teens.


Bits and Pieces offers a variety of puzzles, games, and interesting gadgets primarily for teens and adults. In addition, their website also provides the helpful feature of suggesting gifts for specified recipients and/or amounts to be spent. Their website is www.bitsandpieces.com.



Young Explorers carries a wide variety of interesting toys and games for children of all ages. They specialize in educational toys and games, many of which have won awards. Their website at www.youngexplorers.com organizes its content by age of recipient and by categories of items. Alex’s favorite gifts from this company often came from the Brainy Toys or Science/Nature/Math sections of the catalog.


Toys to Grow On, whose website is located at www.ttgo.com, also offers a nice variety of educational toys and games for all ages of children. Alex especially liked the items from the “Love to Learn” and “Science Discoveries” of this catalog.


Mindware, which bills itself as carrying “brainy toys for kids of all ages,” provides a terrific variety of educational and award-winning toys, games, gadgets, and books. Over the years, I have found various items for Alex in the “Science,” “Brainteasers and Puzzles,” “Games,” and “Great Gifts” sections of the catalog. Their catalog is not only informative, but it is also appealing with its layout and photography. Their website is located at www.mindware.com.


A catalog I received for the first time this year, Museum Tour, also offers a nice assortment of award-winning educational toys, games and books that are carried in museum stores throughout the United States. Their website is www.museumtour.com. For Alex, I was especially interested in the science-oriented gifts, particularly those dealing with biology, meteorology, and astronomy.

Even though trying to find gifts for Alex sometimes requires some creativity and searching on my part, I’m glad to have found some terrific stores whose catalogs and websites allow me to find Christmas gifts that are right up his alley. Not only has he enjoyed playing with the specialty gifts, but he has also learned from them, which is an added bonus.

“You should remember the words of the Lord Jesus: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’” Acts 20:35

Ghosts of Christmases Past

As the official Christmas shopping season has begun this Thanksgiving weekend, I find myself thankful that I have basically finished shopping for Alex. Buying gifts for him always proves to be somewhat of a challenge because he rarely asks for anything, and he is not good about giving suggestions. Nonetheless, I try to find things I think he would like. Sometimes, my ideas are right on target, and other times he looks at me as if to say, “Why would you think I would want that?” Interestingly, some of the gifts he has been less than enthusiastic about receiving at first later become favorites of his, which is gratifying. The other evening after he went to bed, I noticed an array of his belongings in the family room, where he had been spending time, and I realized that all of these items had been Christmas gifts from various years—Ghosts of Christmases Past, so to speak, that reveal his various interests.


One of these former Christmas gifts was one I’d gotten him last year, a retractable ballpoint pen with ten different colors of ink. I had seen one of my seventh grade students using a similar pen in class and asked her where she’d gotten it, thinking that Alex might like one, too. She told me that she’d gotten it at Claire’s Boutique, and I dug through all the hot pink pens to find a purple one I thought he’d find acceptable. While he didn’t seem very interested in the pen when he received it, he’s been using it quite a bit lately to write his assorted cryptic lists in multicolored ink.



Speaking of lists, another part of the Christmas Past menagerie included one of his all-time favorite books, I Love Lists! by Linda Schwartz. In fact, Alex loves this book so much that he’s now on a second copy of this paperback because the first one fell apart from being read and carried around so much. The book describes itself as: “More than 200 fun-filled lists for reading, science, math, geography, music, art, sports, and lots more!” Essentially, if Alex had asked someone to write the perfect book for him, this would be it. I happen to know that he finds the following lists in the book especially interesting: “Big Numbers,” Presidents of the United States,” “Bones in the Human Body,” “Palindromes,” and “Weather Words.” For compiling these clever lists into this book that Alex has enjoyed for years, I would personally like to thank Linda Schwartz.


Another book he has been reading was a Christmas gift from 2006, The Best Stocks You Can Buy 2007 by John Slatter. Alex has had a fascination with the stock market for a few years, so he has about five annual editions of Slatter’s book that we gave him for Christmas gifts. I’m not certain why he selected the 2007 version of the book, but I’m sure he has some reasoning for his interest in this particular book that is now five years old. When he starts giving us good investment advice, we’ll know that we made wise decisions in encouraging his interest in stocks by giving him these books.


Since Alex has an interest in money, I found a toy cash drawer with play money a few years ago that he has enjoyed from time to time since he received as a Christmas gift one year. Lately, he has been doling out the fake currency and coins, leaving the phony money on the floor and on tables throughout the house. Maybe he’s leaving tips for Ed and me for the excellent service we provide for him. Whatever his logic, he has certainly gotten our money’s worth out of that gift that only cost two dollars.


Another Ghost of Christmas Past in this collection is the television “plug and play” video game 1 Versus 100, based upon the game show of the same name. Since Alex really likes playing video games and watching game shows on television, this seemed like the perfect combination. A Christmas gift from thee years ago, he pulls it out to play every few months or so.


One of Alex’s favorite Christmas gifts from the past is one he carries around nearly every day, a handheld educational electronic toy called an iQuest. Loaded with questions about science, math, and social studies, this electronic gadget has keep Alex amused for hours Unfortunately, the manufacturer Leap Frog no longer makes the iQuest, which is a shame because it’s a great learning device. While the Leap Pad that replaced it offers more entertainment in the form of color and graphics, the iQuest’s simplicity and emphasis on facts appeals to Alex, and he has learned a great deal from playing with it. Most kids probably wouldn’t appreciate that, though, which is probably why the iQuest is now listed as a “collectible” toy.

As I surveyed the group of former Christmas gifts that had engaged Alex’s interest that day, I was pleased that I had been right about what kinds of things he would like. Also, I’m glad that he still enjoys things he has had for years, finding them entertaining even after all this time.

“Remember the things I have done in the past. For I alone am God! I am God, and there is none like me.” Isaiah 46:9