Next Year Is Here

 

“As sure as God made green apples, someday, the Chicago Cubs are gonna be in a World Series.”~longtime Cubs announcer, the late Harry Carray, 1991

Last night, we, like thousands of other Chicago Cubs baseball fans, watched in delight as our favorite team won the National League Pennant for the first time since 1945. This victory was especially sweet for Cubs fans after many years of drought when our team simply could not get their act together. Having only won World Series titles more than a century ago in 1907 and 1908, under manager Frank Chance, who also played first base as part of the famed Tinkers to Evers to Chance double play trio, the Cubs have earned their nickname, “the lovable losers.”

Despite the Cubs having little success in the past post-season games, Chicago Cubs fans are known as the most loyal in baseball. Taking losses in stride, they are often quoted as saying at the end of every disappointing season, “Wait ‘til next year.” However, this year’s Cubs team with its depth of talent has allowed Cubs fans to proclaim, “Next year is here!”

As a baseball fan growing up in New York City, Ed became accustomed to cheering for teams who enjoyed consistent success, unlike the Cubs. In the past fifty years, the New York Mets have earned five National League Pennants and won two World Series. Even better known is the New York Yankees dynasty that has won forty American League Pennants and twenty-seven World Series. After moving here to the Midwest more than thirty years ago, Ed couldn’t understand the complacency of Cubs fans, who simply shrugged off losses and waited for next year. He has frequently remarked that New York fans would never let their baseball teams off the hook so easily and wondered why Chicago Cubs fans take losing in stride.

Growing up as a Cubs fan in the era of Ernie Banks, Billy Williams, and Ron Santo, I adopted that same “Wait ‘til next year” mantra, figuring that someday the Cubs would eventually put together everything they needed to be a winning team. Alex, whose interest in the Cubs has been especially strong the past two years, also took on the typical Cubs attitude of not being upset about losses and just enjoying wins as they came along. Fortunately, the Cubs of his generation––Anthony Rizzo, Kris Bryant, and Jake Arietta––aren’t carrying the team alone and are backed by teammates of equal and perhaps even potentially greater talent. However, throughout the season, he took losses in stride, noting,  “Sometimes they lose, and sometimes they win, just like the stock market goes up and down.”

Perhaps the attitude of the Cubs fans that Ed sees as complacent is actually an eternal optimism that things will get better. Moreover, the tenacity Cubs fans show in continuing to support a losing team is something to be admired as loyalty rather than scorned as foolishness. As someone who believes that all experiences in life have some valuable lesson, I believe that being a Cubs fan has been good preparation for being an autism mom. Through the years, I learned to deal with disappointment that things didn’t turn out as planned, and I learned the value of having to wait patiently for good things to happen. Moreover, the slogan, “Wait ‘til next year” developed an optimistic attitude in me that things will get better in time along with an eternal hope for the future.

Just as the Cubs have enjoyed one of their best seasons ever, Alex has been coming into his best season ever, too. In recent months, we have watched him make progress in small ways that signal he is putting behind losses to work toward victory. From the improved fine motor skills that allow him to hang up his jacket without any help to his being able to string together compound-complex sentences with perfect syntax and meaning to walking confidently with his head up straight and his arms at his sides, Alex shows signs of healing.

In addition, he has learned to deal with the intense anxiety that plagues him so that he can not become overwhelmed by changes in plans that used to upset him and so that he can be truly content instead of fretting over little things that used to bother him. For example, earlier in the week, I could see that he was becoming anxious one afternoon, even though he didn’t express his upset in ranting or aggressive behaviors as he once did. He seemed pensive and suddenly asked to take a bath, which is what soothes him when he’s overwhelmed. I asked him what was upsetting him, and he began to shake, but calmly told me he had a difficult decision: whether to watch the Cubs game or the Presidential debate. While this kind of dilemma could have sent him into a meltdown in the past, he used the calming skills his behavioral therapist has taught him.

After discussing his various options of taping one program or the other or switching back and forth between the two shows, he decided upon taping the debate while watching the game. However, he was able to add another option as he watched the debate on the computer while watching the game on television. What impressed us most, however, was not his ability to multitask, but his ability to resolve an internal conflict by reasonably discussing his options and never escalating his anxiety. After a few minutes of talking, he stopped shaking, was content with his choice, and didn’t even need the soothing bath, after all. He proved that he, too, has become a winner, overcoming obstacles autism has presented him. Believing in Alex, just like believing in the Cubs, has paid off, and I am enjoying the fruits of my tenacity and optimism as well as God's goodness, celebrating victory that is even sweeter than I anticipated. Go Cubs! Go Alex!

“For the vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay.” Habakkuk 2:3

Keeping Score

 

This summer, one of Alex’s favorite pastimes has been watching baseball. Fortunately, his favorite team, the Chicago Cubs, has put together an amazingly successful season that has made them fun to watch. Every day, Alex checks to see what time the Cubs are playing and what television station is broadcasting their game. As much as he enjoys watching the games, he has also shown remarkable flexibility. For example, if he has someplace to go or something else to do, he doesn’t get upset about missing the game. If the game runs too late in the evening, he will go to bed contentedly, knowing that Ed will tell him the final score of the game the next day. Alex even handles losses (which are thankfully less common than usual this season) pragmatically, repeating a quote Ed has taught him: “Sometimes you win; sometimes you lose.” The only thing better than watching the Cubs win so many games this season has been watching Alex’s enthusiasm for baseball and his favorite team.

Earlier in the summer, we took him to a vintage baseball game at nearby county park. Wearing old-fashioned uniforms and playing by 1858 rules, the players entertained the spectators as they made barehanded catches on what was once an old farm field. Not only was the weather perfect, but Alex’s behavior was also perfect as he followed the game intently and enjoyed himself thoroughly. Once again, he showed the progress he has made by being able to sit calmly and focus on an activity with many people around him. While most people would take this kind of an outing for granted, we savor these family times, grateful for the opportunity to do something fun without worrying that Alex will become overwhelmed by the experience.

In fact, Alex had such a good time that we decided to take him to another vintage baseball game a few weeks ago. This game was played at another park in a neighboring county, the site of a former grist mill. As with the previous game, Alex was engaged in watching not only the baseball game but also casually observing the other people attending the game, listening to the variety of their voices. With the snacks I had brought along for him––an orange Gatorade in one hand and a bag of Fritos corn chips in the other––he was the picture of contentment. We didn’t think things could get any better than that.

After a couple of innings, we took him out to the old-fashioned scoreboard, where my dad, who has kept the scoreboard for a few years, was sitting. Of course, Alex was pleased to see Grandpa, but he was also fascinated by the big box of wooden blocks with numbers painted on them to keep score. Shortly after we arrived at the scoreboard, one of the players scored a run. Instead of putting up the new score himself, my dad handed Alex a wooden block with a number and asked him to place it on the scoreboard. Before I could give reasons why Alex couldn’t do that seemingly simple task, he had proven my unspoken doubts wrong and already put the new score on the board. Moreover, he was pretty pleased about being the interim scorekeeper.

As Alex’s mom, one of the mistakes I often make is enabling him and being too quick to do things for him, knowing his various limitations. Partly because I always want to help him and make his life easier and partly because I don’t want him to get too frustrated (and truthfully partly because it’s faster and easier to do things myself), I often jump in and take over when I should at least let him try to do things on his own. I would have never thought to let him put the number on the scoreboard, fearing that he might drop the number and get upset, thinking that his hand tremor would make lining up the hole of the wooden score block on the small peg impossible, and deciding that walking out on the narrow raised deck might make him nervous. Fortunately, fathers don’t overanalyze situations as much as mothers do, and grandfathers even less so. Without any worries, Grandpa gave Alex a chance, and his confidence gave Alex the courage to try and to be successful.

In an interesting twist, this game was one of the highest scoring games ever, which meant that Alex had to keep changing the score numbers. Following Grandpa’s directions, Alex took the old scores off the board, handed them to Grandpa and took the new score block and hung it on the scoreboard. Although he needed to be reminded which team earned the run so that he placed the number in the right spot, Alex never faltered as he lined up the wooden number blocks on the scoreboard pegs. While that simple task may seem nothing major to most people, because I know how much Alex has struggled with the simplest of fine motor tasks, I was amazed that he did so well.

Moreover, Alex was pleased to have a chance to participate in the game by keeping the scoreboard. After all, numbers are one of his favorite things in the world and combining them with baseball made it perfect for him. As the three of us praised him for what a good job he was doing, Alex beamed with pride. He had learned how to do something new, and I learned something, as well. Instead of thinking about his limitations so much, I need to be willing to allow him to try new things more often. Although he may not always succeed at first, he might surprise us and take to the new task as easily as he did with keeping the scoreboard. To deny him the chance to try is to deny him the chance for joy in knowing that he can do something himself.

Before the summer ends, we’re planning to take him to another vintage baseball game. I don’t know whether he’ll want to help Grandpa keep the scoreboard again or not, but at least I know that if he shows interest in trying, we will certainly encourage him. As Alex has learned, life is more than winning and losing or succeeding and failing; the important thing is being willing to try. Unless we allow him to attempt things that may be difficult for him, Alex will never know the satisfaction that comes with being able to succeed.

“You will succeed in whatever you do, and light will shine on the road ahead of you.” Job 22:28