Wasted Worry

 

In May, Alex mysteriously changed his eating habits. Because he has always had a good appetite and a willingness to eat almost anything, we became concerned when he seemed to lose interest in eating foods he had previously loved. Even more concerning was the weight loss that accompanied this change of eating habits. Consequently, we took him to the doctor, who diagnosed him with thrush, yeast overgrowth in his mouth and throat that seems to plague Alex at regular intervals. Since his mouth and throat were sore, apparently only cool and smooth foods, such as coconut milk yogurt, Rice Dream ice cream, applesauce, and pureed fruit appealed to him. Moreover, he told us that some foods he had previously liked now tasted bad, which apparently was a side effect of the thrush.

After prescribing a week of the anti-fungal medication Diflucan, the doctor told us that if Alex’s appetite continued to be affected, he might want to do an abdominal CT scan to determine whether he may be having gall bladder issues. In addition, he wanted to see him again in a few weeks to monitor his weight and see if the thrush improved. The medication did help the thrush, but his appetite was still not back to normal. Fortunately, by encouraging Alex to eat foods that did appeal to him, he was able to gain back some of the weight he had lost.

When we returned to the doctor in June, he was pleased that Alex was doing better and gaining weight. Since Alex was improving, he didn’t think the CT scan was necessary, but he indicated that if Alex continued to have thrush outbreaks, he may want to refer us to an ear-nose-throat specialist who could better view what was going on in Alex’s upper digestive tract. While I was not thrilled with the possibility of Alex needing a scope of his upper GI tract, I trusted the doctor knew what was best for him and hoped that this test would not be necessary. In the meantime, he prescribed another round of Diflucan to address the residual thrush and wanted us to return in three months to check Alex’s progress.

Over the summer, Alex seemed to be getting better, as the signs of thrush improved. When Alex has thrush, his anxiety and OCD increase, and he also has acne breakouts and terrible dandruff. Fortunately, all of these symptoms subsided, and his appetite, while not back to normal, improved. Because he was doing fairly well, his psychiatric nurse practitioner took him off one anti-anxiety medication and reduced another. He adapted to these medication changes overall quite well, which was encouraging. However, he seemed to have some increased sensory issues, such as covering his ears when he heard loud noises. Perhaps his eating habits were affected, as well, with intensified tastes, smells, textures, and even sounds of foods. While we had seen some improvement with his willingness to eat a greater variety of foods, we saw a setback recently where he reverted to eating only the cool and smooth foods he preferred in May.

Knowing that we were taking him back to the doctor last week, I began to panic that the doctor would want more tests run on Alex. In case his eating habits were more mental than physical, I decided to try a new method: offering him a reward for eating. All summer long, we have been low key about his eating habits, not wanting him to feel anxious and not putting pressure on him. However, in trying to spare him medical procedures, I was willing to push him a bit to see if he might eat more. Last week, I told him that if he would eat his dinner, he could get an Italian ice at Fazoli’s for dessert.

The first two nights, the plan worked well, as he ate dinner and earned his reward. The third night, however, he became agitated trying to comply so that he could get the dessert he really wanted. The next night, he began shaking before dinner ever started, fretting about the task of eating, and I knew we needed to abandon this plan. Instead of pushing him to eat a variety of foods, I fixed him foods I knew he could eat, and he was much calmer. Apparently, his eating habits were not just a matter of stubbornness on his part, and I felt bad about pushing him to eat, even if I had his best interests at heart.

In the days before we took him back to the doctor on Wednesday, I fretted about what might be ahead of us, just as Alex had fretted about eating a few days earlier. As I worried about possible medical procedures Alex might need, or even worse, what terrible illnesses might be responsible for his lack of appetite, I knew I needed to pray and find peace. Whatever God had planned, He would see us through, just as He always has.

When Alex went to the doctor on Wednesday, the doctor was pleased with Alex’s weight gain and fortunately did not feel the need to run any tests. Unfortunately, he diagnosed Alex with another case of thrush, which would explain the decline in his appetite that had been improving a few weeks ago. The doctor also thought that the decrease in anti-anxiety medications could cause sensory issues that would impact his appetite, as well. He prescribed ten days of Diflucan followed by weekly doses to keep the thrush at bay and told us to call him in two weeks and let him know how Alex is doing.

Fortunately, this case of thrush seems much milder than the ones Alex had earlier, as his symptoms are less intense and don’t seem to be bothering him too much. Thankfully, we are already seeing improvements in just the few days Alex has been on the anti-fungal medication. We are also pleased with how the doctor is handling Alex and have confidence that he is doing what is best and genuinely wants to help Alex get well. While we hope and pray that Alex’s appetite will return to normal soon and that the thrush will disappear permanently, we know that God has a plan for Alex’s healing and that we need not worry about the details. Instead, we just need to wait and to trust that in the end everything will be all right.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done.” Philippians 4:6