tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8937833385707548980.post5732994413530483297..comments2023-10-12T06:43:01.444-05:00Comments on One Autism Mom's Notes: Suggested RemarksPam Byrnehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11693728509115670248noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8937833385707548980.post-80059253696136086602011-08-06T09:41:12.575-05:002011-08-06T09:41:12.575-05:00Hi Jane,
You have brought up several excellent poi...Hi Jane,<br />You have brought up several excellent points and explained them eloquently. (Our VU English profs would be proud!) You are absolutely right about your first priority, which is your son's feelings and never wanting him to feel embarrassed. I think being open about our situations--adoption and autism--makes our sons realize that being different is all right, especially when they have parents who love them so dearly. :)<br />Fondly,<br />PamPam Byrnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11693728509115670248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8937833385707548980.post-73205330619835231612011-08-06T09:34:16.645-05:002011-08-06T09:34:16.645-05:00Hi Farmwifetwo,
I think you're right about us...Hi Farmwifetwo,<br /><br />I think you're right about using these experiences to teach others about autism. If we want people to understand autism, we should be willing to share what we know. <br /><br />I think when people bring up Temple Grandin, special diets, etc., they're trying to show an interest, but I can see how that would annoy you after raising two on the spectrum. My friends will share research or articles about autism they've found, often prefacing it with, "You probably already know/have seen this...," which I appreciate. For me, this shows a concern for Alex and me. :)<br /><br />Thanks for your comments and sharing your insights. :)<br /><br />Take care,<br />PamPam Byrnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11693728509115670248noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8937833385707548980.post-50654740243147227592011-08-01T20:33:51.237-05:002011-08-01T20:33:51.237-05:00Pam, thank you for another thoughtful piece. Thoug...Pam, thank you for another thoughtful piece. Though I do not have a special needs child, I frequently encounter a similar situation with my "obviously" adopted son. It's amazing what total strangers will say in front of your child! However, I, like you, tend to believe most have only the best of intentions and simply haven't thought of how their question/comment comes out. I always try to respond in as positive and open a way as is appropriate, in part to model for my son how to handle awkward questions and to let him see that he has nothing about which to feel embarassed or ashamed. Besides, I would much rather have an open question that I can gently reshape than a whisper behind my son's back.Jane Ynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8937833385707548980.post-82854426952116630832011-07-24T08:04:12.611-05:002011-07-24T08:04:12.611-05:00I have learned over the last 12yrs and 10yrs (sinc...I have learned over the last 12yrs and 10yrs (since I've doing this twice on different ends of the spectrum) is that most people are kind and mean NOTHING rude when they make a verbal 'faux pas' and I just smile and let it go. <br /><br />I answer their questions patiently since the best way to make a difference is by teaching one person at a time. I don't whine about my fate, I will admit it is difficult at times and I don't apologise for choices I make.<br /><br />The one that gets me the most is those that send you emails or ask you in public "do you know who Temple Grandin is", "did you know about the diets".... that actually irritates me. Makes me think that they truly think I cannot be bothered to learn all I can about autism and deal with it in a manner that fits our family best.<br /><br />As for the "I don't know how you do it?" "You're a good parent" comments, I simply reply with a smile and change the subject.<br /><br />Since I too have no idea at times what to say to people when something negative happens... I'm willing to cut people a little slack when trying to find a way to talk to me about my children. I'd rather they talk to us and learn, than ignore us and make assumptions.farmwifetwohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02680758336779501712noreply@blogger.com